Posted by: KrazyKoalaBears
- Donor [266182910] Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 18:35
First things first in case anyone from ESPN.com actually reads this: KKB = Fred Telegdy
Now, back to the thread... That's right! You're eyes aren't deceiving you and you haven't had to much to drink (at least not that I know of). ESPN.com is now "Accepting Resume's" for Graphic Designer positions and I figure what better place would there be for me, the guy who spends all his spare time working on Gleem.net, to work at than ESPN.com? Sports and Web/Graphic Design together in one job is like Peanut Butter and Chocolate together in Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. MMMMMMmmmmmmmmm.
So anyhow, I want a job there. No, I REALLY want a job there. Yes, I know that blue hen works there, but I still REALLY want a job there. I've come up with a top 10 list for "Reasons that ESPN.com Should Hire Fred Telegdy" (yes, that's my real name) and I want my fellow Gurupies to add their reasons why ESPN.com should hire me. So, without further ado, I present...
TOP 10 REASONS WHY ESPN.COM SHOULD HIRE ME
I'm not hooked on "Dino's" like Rich Eisen.
My last name, while not as cool as Buccigross, easily ranks up there with Wojciechowski for frequency of mispronunciation.
You can't spell "Hire Fred Telegdy" without an E, an S, a P, and an N. Well, technically you can, so we'll just move on to the next one…
I know that a WHIP is not an instrument of punishment, an ERA is not a time period, and GIDP is not something you say to a horse.
I've never been placed on the DL.
I fall into the 50% of web designers who aren't on 'Roids.
Not only can I spell , but I can also use it in a sentence: "Bobby didn't know how it happened, but he managed to develop a serious rash and on his right arm."*
I understand that Spud Webb is to the World Cup trophy as Manute Bol is to the Stanley Cup trophy.
I, too, would have taken the money from Rich Eisen and done a burn out with Bobby Labonte's car.
I was once a PBA bowling champion and had my very own fan club. Then I woke up.
So now add yours!
* Yes, I do actually know how to spell . It's .
1
kev
ID: 11438306 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 18:43
Reason 11- Your not blue hen.
2
PGunn
ID: 1558217 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 18:51
Reason 12: You have got to be better than those RETARDS presently working there that have made ESPN.com the SLOWEST LOADING PAGE ON THE INTERNET.
3
Y2JS
ID: 50512718 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 18:52
Reason 12- You're not Blue Hen ;)
I hope you get that job KKB, I know that it's a highly competitive profession, nontheless it being at ESPN. Wish you all the luck in the world man
!!!
4
PGunn
ID: 1558217 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 18:54
Sorry, you're REASON 13.
5
kev
ID: 11438306 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 18:59
yes, you wouldnt want bad grammar on a resume. Good catch Y2JS
Reason 14 (or whatever we are on)- you can bring down a criminal...one who steals basketballs, and could even be be stealing Brett Boone's bats...you can let them know where he works and everything...
6
Catfish Sustainer
ID: 515239 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 19:01
You're a graphic designer, Koala? Then reason #14 is that you stand a fighting chance of being able to change that plug-ugly horrible scoreboard screen into something really great.
Good luck!
PS If you do get the job, please don't become KKB, almighty.
7
El Tel
ID: 56423193 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 19:13
You are a god, regarding All-American Fantasy Games. You help make a humble Brit-Boy competitive. Let's get you the overseas vote-even though ESPN don't want it. El Tel
8
Micheal
ID: 567421419 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 19:28
I agree w/ PGunn (#2). Except I would say they only have 1 retard working for them.
Good luck KKB and if you do get the job, please do something about that god awful green scoreboard that ESPN for some reason thinks is easy on the eyes. What doofus said "That green is nice, let's go with it"?
And the Gleem site is great.
9
Ender
ID: 13443221 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 19:30
I don't think you'd win much support with PGunn's reason, specifically because the people who have designed the current page will probably be reviewing the resumes. Or perhaps, since PGunn is right, those knuckleheads have been fired and that's why they're hiring :)
10
Dan Sustainer
ID: 0229323 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 19:33
With some inside sources, and another gurupie currently having his resume reviewed, I really like your chances KKB. All I can say is GOOD LUCK! And I can't think of anyone who would fit the profile of an ESPN nerd more than you. ;-)
11
Seattle Zen Donor
ID: 554192913 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 19:49
I wish you the best of luck, KKB, but I beg of you not to bring up college football during your interview. You are a Canes fan and I specifically remember you arguing that the Canes should have had a shot at the Sooners in 2000 despite the fact that you got spanked by the Huskies. You have no grasp of the college pigskin, my buddy, but I'm sure your computer graphics skills are top notch.
Where would you be located?
12
Catfish Sustainer
ID: 20557322 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 20:36
Micheal, that was green hen
13
Chestergreat
ID: 44535420 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 20:45
Reason #? ESPN needs more experts who can spare a 4,7,10 split.
I've always been a huge Sports fan. 3 times in my life I worked in a sports related area and they were the best times I had in my working career.
Good luck KKB.
14
Perm Dude Leader
ID: 484582817 Fri, Jun 07, 2002, 22:58
Reason #??: Because you are a Fred. That alone should get you in there.
Reason #?? + 1: Because you like to invent games, and ESPN needs someone who can invent games without ripping off Guru's games.
Reason #?? + 2: Despite your hatred of Netscape, you actually worked on getting Gleem to work with Netscape. Ya gotta love that.
pd
15
stinkypuff
ID: 35532512 Sat, Jun 08, 2002, 01:25
#whatever: 'Cause maybe instead of meaningless stats at the bottom of the screen, you could get them to run players' TSNPs.
16
Superclydes
ID: 225228 Sat, Jun 08, 2002, 08:43
You are a definite shoe in!! Anyone who can put up with my endless ramblings and empty threats in Pick'ems and Madball has my vote. However, when you said meinkeiwzlr, you pronounced it wrong. It sounds like this... meingkeiejxk. The only problem I can see is that little trouble you had with the law a few years ago:-) Just kidding, good luck!
Because I'm tired of pressing refresh on every page I load on ESPN because the page looks retarded (everything looks way to big and the side panels are the regular large blue hyperlinks instead of yellow / white and small).
22
Mikel
ID: 5814539 Sun, Jun 09, 2002, 01:32
As KKB notes, ESPN is indeed accepting resumes for Graphic Designer positions.
Did you actually send a resume to Kieren Portley, as requested? Don't you think that might give you better odds than posting here? From what I know about you, you are a great candidate, but I'm not sure this was the place to send your application.
As for the rest of you, I don't think KKB intended this to be a thread bashing ESPN.com. You may think it's funny, but I doubt it helps KKB's chances, and if Blue Hen hasn't responded by now, he probably won't. And I don't think it will change the color of the scoreboard, either.
23
Baldwin
ID: 4261155 Sun, Jun 09, 2002, 08:43
Reason #?? Can think of more interesting stuff than Louis'gum and Piazza's straightness.
24
Micheal
ID: 33457215 Sun, Jun 09, 2002, 17:03
Mikel - I believe that BH is out of town at Dorkfest '02 or else I'm sure he would have responded to all the ESPN bashing. I'm also pretty sure that KKB turned his resume into the proper people. He seems like a pretty smart guy.
25
Gary
ID: 64163123 Sun, Jun 09, 2002, 17:22
I know it has been awhile. But I am going to chime in any way.
Reason #____: KKB stands for quality. What I mean is KKB don't do anything half way, he does it right and he doesn't hesitate to fix a problem that may arise.
Reason #____: KKB is KNOWLEDGEABLE in sports.
And last but now least Reason #____: KKB believes fishing is a sport;)
Well I am not sure about that last one but good luck KKB, I know working at ESPN would be a dream job for most of us.
27
Ira
ID: 1591458 Sun, Jun 09, 2002, 21:44
Ouch, blue hen works there? Who's the genius that hired him? ;)
28
Stuck in the Sixties Leader
ID: 12451279 Sun, Jun 09, 2002, 22:14
GLEEM is an exceptionally well-done site, efficiently presented and scrupulously maintained and up-to-date. BH, get in there and make the pitch yourself --- HIRE KKB. If you don't like him, try Fred!!
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