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0 Subject: Just 4 fun: Top Ten Signs

Posted by: StLCards
- [296581212] Wed, Aug 16, 13:13

I thought it would be fun to put together a "Top Ten" list (or more) of signs that you are a RotoGurupie. I'll start with:
1) You can't wait to get to work because you can access the RotoGuru message forum much faster from there.
Only the 50 most recent replies are currently shown. Click on this text to display hidden posts as well.
[Lengthy or complex threads may require a slight delay before updating.]
      ID: 522452715
      Fri, Jun 29, 08:13
When the sond "Loser" comes on by Three Doors Down and you are singing in the shower but instead of singing the correct lyrics, "I'm a loser" you sing "I hate C-Losers"...
      ID: 530432519
      Fri, Jun 29, 08:34
post 359 - the tee shirts are over rated [and too small]

a true sign that you are a guruppie, all of these happened while on vacation:

you go on your family vacation and e-mail your division tracker to your dad's computer so it is waiting for you to get to Florida

you get up at 5:30 AM to sneak in 30 minutes of rotoguru time, stat checking, probable starts

your wife and dad lock you out of the computer so you have to spend time with the family

you watch swordfish and dream about "hacking" into stallworld for 75 more pitcher trades

you go to a large brand name amusement park [like Universal's Island of Adventure for example] and you login on one of those AOL terminal set up around the park just to check out the daily ax-tion thread
      ID: 4542177
      Fri, Jun 29, 08:44
You get to work early so you can look at your teams and make your trades hassle free.
      ID: 18429914
      Sun, Aug 19, 17:30
You take your vacations when Dave Hall does.
374Strike One
      ID: 356372421
      Sun, Aug 19, 20:37
Can you believe that it's been over a year since this was started? Wow.
375Cleveland Fan
      ID: 294172211
      Mon, Aug 20, 13:05
No one can take vacation as long as Dave Hall (except George Bush)!
376Great One
      ID: 15434710
      Mon, Aug 20, 15:23
i actually wear my smallworld hat and use my smallworld water bottle... ugh

377The Left Wings
      ID: 456301816
      Mon, Aug 20, 15:53
ROFL, Great One. I haven't had the chance to use those two things yet, but whenever I go play hockey, I'll wear the SW t-shirt from last year and hope to run into people who also play SW and recognize the logo so I can talk pools with them.
      ID: 87351212
      Mon, Aug 20, 17:24
when u tell ur self u have 1 trade, 5 mins max. then end up taking 2 hours
379 The Pagan Baby
      ID: 26641117
      Mon, Aug 20, 18:22
I just finished the entire thread. Funniest thing I've read in a long time. Thanx. I'm new to this kind of stuff. What in the hell does LOL & BUTT mean?
      ID: 48113316
      Mon, Aug 20, 18:40
LOL = Laugh out loud
BUTT = Back Up To Top (as in of the threads)

      ID: 4261155
      Mon, Aug 20, 18:41
Laugh Out Loud

Back Up To Top moves thread to top where it belongs
382 The Pagan Baby
      ID: 26641117
      Mon, Aug 20, 19:56
Thanx. Sorry to bother you again but what is an ORDNAR? I know Randro.
You know you're addicted when the kitchen sink is overflowing with dishes, you have no clean clothes to wear (you've resorted to fishing in the hamper for sox that aren't too smelly), the car is FILTHY, they shut off the gas because you forgot to pay it (just so long as I've got electricity and web access) and you still walk directly from the front door to the computer every day.
      ID: 5042211
      Mon, Aug 20, 20:09
TPB - check here for ORDNAR, as well as others.
      ID: 371024132
      Fri, Nov 23, 2001, 07:15
When you whine about there being 2 threads on the same subject.
      ID: 371024132
      Fri, Nov 23, 2001, 07:49
When you find yourself chastising posters and referring them to the forum rules for asking help with their teams but don't give any thoughts themselves.
387Mikel @ school
      ID: 541024612
      Mon, Nov 26, 2001, 13:39
YOu start calling TSNP, RGTSNP when they put the Rotoguru link on the Ultimate Hoops page.
      ID: 1591458
      Wed, Nov 28, 2001, 19:43
When people are still writing in these threads..
      ID: 12432113
      Fri, Nov 30, 2001, 14:39
No way I could read through all 355 posts, so sorry if these are repeats:
a) You watch your respective sports in terms of Tsn points:
Faulk just broke loose for a 202 point run! (translation: 71 yard TD run)
Ramirez just had a 20 point at bat (2-run double)
b) You have something worthwhile to add to this thread
390Strike One
      ID: 356372421
      Sat, Dec 01, 2001, 17:15
You get another SSB team just so you make it's team name be "RANDRO"
      ID: 2504849
      Mon, Dec 03, 2001, 19:12
You cringe when you watch the game winning field goal sail wide - not because it's your favorite team that lost - but because of all the Rotoguru Pickoff points you just lost.
      ID: 711241223
      Fri, Dec 14, 2001, 17:25
You might be a Gurupie if you think this is helpful advice :

Can you give me the Top 5 most effective answers to the following October question: "Honey, instead of you watching 12 straight hours of football this Sunday, why don't we drive out to Northampton to check out the foliage and maybe go shopping?" --Jeff C, Boston

Sure. The foliage thing is a biggie here in New England, mainly because there are two or three weekends where the leaves are changing and women feel like it's their civic duty to emasculate you and make you drive them around and say things like, "Wow, look at that tree, it's gorgeous!" Just shoot me. The key is to keep coming up with excuses every weekend until the foliage window has closed. For example ...

1. The Rational: "Not this weekend, (fill in the matchup) is a huge game. I can't miss it -- I've been looking forward to it all week. Can we do it next week?"

(This works because she probably won't do follow-up research to determine if your game really is a big game, so she'll have to accept your words at face value. Also, you're leaving the door open for the next weekend, so she won't be too disgusted by you.)

2. The Fib: "I can't, I'm going over to (fill in an emergency buddy's house) to watch the game. We already made plans ... I thought you were doing something on Sunday!"

"Sorry, honey. I can't go see the foliage because the Steelers have a big game today."
(This works as long as you have a reliable friend who you can watch the game with on a moment's notice. Don't choose one of your whipped friends, because they might be doing the foliage thing. Also, when you say, "I thought you were doing something on Sunday," that's beautiful, because it shows her that you were thinking of her and you only made plans because she was busy ... she won't hold it against you that you were mistaken, feeling that you're just a moron with no long-term memory. Hey, whatever works.)

3. The Lie: "Not this weekend, it's supposed to pour all weekend."

(Only works if you have one of those girlfriends who never watches the weather. Pretty risky.)

4. The Compromise: "I really want to watch football on Sunday, sweetie. Can't we do it Saturday?"

(The diplomatic move. You're sacrificing Saturday to enjoy Sunday. Everybody wins. If she made plans for Saturday, even better -- you can even turn the tables on her and say, "But I thought we were doing something on Saturday!" and make her feel like crap.)

5. The Confrontation-Starter: "Oh, that should be fun. Are you going to castrate me before we leave or when we get to Northhampton?"

(So you start a full-scale fight to get out of it ... big deal. It's good to drop the gloves every once in a while. Keeps things fresh.)
393Strike One
      ID: 356372421
      Sat, Dec 15, 2001, 10:34
lol, beautiful
      ID: 33156417
      Sun, Dec 16, 2001, 10:34
LOL With My Knees Elivated Hitting them on the computer table but not caring if it knocks me on the ground because im ROTFL...GREAT POST Buckwild
      ID: 2811551620
      Sun, Dec 16, 2001, 21:02
I found some interesting espn articles listed on the right hand side
396Jackie Robinson
      ID: 4942911
      Tue, Jan 29, 2002, 10:26
I need help.
I woke up at 4:30 this morning in a sweat.
I was dreaming I was reading the boxscores and my smallworld team had all the wrong players on it.
It's not even February and this is starting.
      ID: 30117218
      Sat, Feb 02, 2002, 18:24
Wife: February 14th is an important holiday. Do you remember what it is?

Me: Sure I do! That's the day pitchers and catchers report!

Glad I put extra straw in the dog house. Ha, ha.
      ID: 33156417
      Mon, Mar 25, 2002, 19:08
You draft players on you team that you can acctually watch on tv. alla the braves TBS...Cubs WGN and the local Tigers on FoxSports Net.

you see the word of and all you can think of is who is the best Outfielder Sleeper under 3 mil.

      ID: 13443221
      Thu, May 02, 2002, 00:01
You actually participate in fantasy fantasy baseball (GMD).

We officially have fantasy teams of managers' fantasy teams...
401Dan L
      ID: 1329128
      Wed, Mar 12, 2003, 15:49
      ID: 206282522
      Wed, Mar 12, 2003, 17:47
Senior year in highscool I changed my whole scheule so i can have 5th and 6th period off, enough time to see the dialy price changes and plan out my moves.
      ID: 137142214
      Tue, Apr 01, 2003, 10:41
You know you're a gurupie when:

You wake up in a miserable mood. You are quietly brooding during the morning walk with your wife & 2 dogs. She asks if there's anything wrong and you say "No dear. . everythings fine" You take a look at the computer before breakfast and mumble things to it under your breath. As you sit down for breakfast she asks again. . ."Bob, why are you so out of it today". Finally you blurt out at the top of your voice . ."I had Patterson & Radke on my F#%k&^g short list of players and took RJ & Dunn instead . . . OKAY . . ARE YOU HAPPY NOW".

Needless to say . . I may sleep on the couch tonight.
(Story somewhat embellished . . but not too much)

      ID: 591522417
      Tue, Apr 01, 2003, 13:23
Not so much a "you know you're a gurupie", I just wanted to give a heads up to all the people who are worried about their work blocking their site.

For those cases where it may have actually happened, you can go to and access the site through there. It will usually get you in.
405Matt G
      ID: 43047610
      Tue, Apr 01, 2003, 13:28
When 'Day late' to you is good, but to your girlfriend is bad.

      ID: 591522417
      Tue, Apr 01, 2003, 13:28
Okay, got a couple. :)

You pass up chances to actually *play* baseball to check out the latest word at Guru.

You run a website about your school's baseball team (Kansas U) that team parents, coaches' wives, etc check out regularly and it's below your TSN teams on update priority.

You've briefly considered selling your computer thinking of how wonderful life might be without it, but can't bring yourself to do it.
407Abdul Butkrak
      ID: 46113919
      Tue, Apr 01, 2003, 15:49
Your toughest decision all day is whether to go to the baseball, basketball or politics forum first.
      ID: 439341814
      Tue, Apr 01, 2003, 18:33
The word "Smackdown" no longer makes you think of pro wrestling.
409Strike One
      ID: 356372421
      Sat, Apr 05, 2003, 14:14
wow, i can't beleive this thread is still around.
      ID: 485371719
      Sun, Jul 20, 2003, 11:11
When the best active player (you listening Barry) in baseball could potentially be suspended, and your only concern is having enough trades to cover the loss.
411Khahan @home
      ID: 310231215
      Sun, Jul 20, 2003, 20:47
You break out into hysterics anytime you hear somebody mention the amount: $85 million.
      ID: 46338611
      Mon, Jul 21, 2003, 16:05
      ID: 44010135
      Mon, Mar 01, 2004, 10:58
Reading through the Registry (I was really trying to find my own name, and it is not there!) I was reading TB's personal profile and there was a link to this thread.

I have just spent the last hour and a bit reading the whole 412 posts and have now got jaw ache from the constant smiling!

Exactly what year did this thread start?

You know what they say 'the truth hurts'.

      ID: 44010135
      Mon, Mar 01, 2004, 11:05
Wow! After I had updated this thread I then found that post 385 was dated November 2001!

415Matt S
      ID: 34945140
      Mon, Mar 01, 2004, 17:16
haha, I love the throwback threads!
      ID: 42263014
      Wed, Mar 30, 2005, 15:47
I just wanted to bring this back and say that this thread is sweet
      ID: 204401122
      Thu, Mar 31, 2005, 02:21
You wonder if its a fluke or devine intervention:

You get new license plates for your car (completely random)...and the last three characters are "SWP". Strange.
418The Left Wings
      ID: 6142019
      Thu, Mar 31, 2005, 03:33
Wow, you definitely have to be a gurupie for quite a few years to know what SWP is.

#6: *sob* =(
      ID: 4708114
      Thu, Mar 31, 2005, 15:21
You remember all the people that posted when this thread started 5 years ago, even though many of them apparently dropped off the face of the Earth.
420blue hen
      ID: 710321114
      Thu, Mar 31, 2005, 17:14
... when you wonder what year this thread started in.

... when you realize you've only posted in it twice.

... when you think "Thank god, at least it wasn't the 85 million thread they brought back."

... when you realize you've lived in 7 apartments in 5 different states since this thread started.

... when you notice the absence of the words "aboot" and "cafeps" in this thread.
      ID: 33283119
      Thu, Mar 31, 2005, 20:55
when you read all of the above posts just hoping to find some inside info before opening day.

Didn't find anything.....
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