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Subject: Survivor Week VII
Posted by: Shak
- [481029813] Wed, Oct 19, 2005, 14:08
I brought up this line from Full Metal Jacket before: "The dead know only one thing -- it is better to be alive." In Scott's case, he knew he was living on borrowed time and he was very gracious to accept his fate and let GCobb live to see another week. Thus, in true Survivor fashion, GCobb becomes the first owner to be revived from the dead. Welcome to week VII and here's a peek into the future courtesy of the great and all-knowing, Shakman (when I start batting over .500, I'll get a better handle).
JBC: This should be a horse race between these four:
Reaper: What better place to start than at the bottom of the barrel? I really hate to pick on this outstanding airman who is currently furthering his professional career at the SNCOA. This after we just got done booting the team that most resembled the guy that just slides by. The good news is this team is relatively healthy and has only one player on a bye (caddy). He desperately needs Jerry, err, Jamal Lewis to get his feces co-located. Could be tough sledding this week in Soldier Field. Boldin should go off vs.. the Titans. Ultimately, the Reaper will be Grim unless Vick and McCareins deliver the goods on MNF.
GCobb: Speaking of the Grim Reaper, welcome back Gary. The good news is you're still alive. The bad news is you have one foot in the grave. More good news, Favre is back from his bye. More bad news, Leftwich and Colbert are on a bye and Blaylock and DJack will be pulling down donuts for a while. Final good news is the "GCobb Rule" will ensure you won't receive negative points from Brandon "One Carry - One Fumble" Jacobs. Final bad news is you still have One Carry - One Fumble Jacobs and he is one of only six players you have available this week. I hope for your sake you don't need him to score positive points this week to move on.
Clyde: Our third suspect is none other than our reigning champ, SuperClyde. Unfortunately for Mike, he is pinning his hopes of retaining his crown on this team. Unfortunately for Mike, he will be returning the crown... soon. Davenport and Walker are down and out for the count. Fragile Fred and Jake "Where am I?" Delhomme are on byes. That leaves Clyde with six bodies -- five if Ike Bruce can't go again this week. What will probably save Clyde's bacon is Edge and the Colts doing unspeakable things to the poor Texans. That game should be rated XXX -- it's going to be nasty. Of course now that I've said that, it will be a nail biter that will go to overtime.
Joefut2: I would be remiss if I didn't list Joe here, as he's looking for a little sympathy in losing his only QB, Bulger. He also has a banged up WR corps of Andre Johnson, Engram, and Mike Williams. Also dragging Joe down is Duce getting stale on the bench. Joe will need LT to carry this team on his back until Bulger and the WRs return to health. Hopefully for Joe's sake, it will be before bye week hell in week 10. Tough call for Joe this week with LT facing his beloved Iggles. Going to be tough to cheer for LT this week, eh Joe?
Head: The coconut says Scott's prediction of "we both equally suck and the "winner" this week will probably go down next week" will come true.
Heart: The ticker says the Champ will be counted out.
Gut: The belly says the Grim Reaper enjoys a good MNF and GCobb's 2nd life was short lived.
ECC: Tough call this week. Could be one of these suspects, or perhaps we'll have a deus ex machina (loose translation is unexpected, contrived ending).
Shak: Looking at the bottom of the ECC barrel, we find yours truly. This underperforming squad is led by the underperforming Jerry, err, Jamal Lewis and the negative performing One Carry - One Fumble Jacobs. I may have lost Drew "Dick" Bennett for awhile, but I should have Burleson back (he'll have to work hard to try to intercept a few of CPep's tosses). Lloyd is another one of my WRs that will have to work hard to box out defenders for rebounds, err, I mean passes. Luckily, if Alex Smith doesn't pan out, the 49ers can now bring in Ken Dorsey! ROFLMAO! Come back, Steve Young! Hell, I'd settle for Steve Bono!
RBP: Scott is now pinning his hopes on his LT squad. Theoretically, he should have a pass until LT sits in week 10, but this week is mini bye week hell for RBP. He has three players on bye, including "Douche On" Foster. Javon is done and Chad Hutch spends his Sundays sitting in his underwear watching the games in his living room just like us. That leaves RBP with no K, Travis Taylor as his only WR (snicker), and Bledsoe as his only QB. RBP should be tuning into the Dallas/Seattle game to see if this team will be in deep Kim Chi going into MNF (Dunn).
JHHH: Jon is making a surprise guest appearance. The number two ranked JHHH is starting to face some adversity. Bulger looks like he'll be on the shelf for a few weeks, placing the fate of this team into the hands of, gulp, Joey Harrington. Isn't it time for him to grow up and become Joe Harrington? No wonder he gets no respect. Also hurting on this squad are Engram and Andre Johnson. Tough luck for Andre, he was on pace to rack up 364 yards receiving and zero TDs this year. Wonder if JJ Stokes is still available. Adding to Jon's troubles is the bye for Steve Smith and Stephen Davis. Jon will also be watching the Dallas/Seattle game (from the other side of the globe) to hope Shaun can outscore LT. Should be a good one.
FNAS: Our final suspect for this week is Chuck. His squad hasn't looked good since Fast Willie started looking more like Flash in the Pan Willie. He will be missing Dillon, Edwards, and Rogers this week. His WR points will come from "Laverne and Shirley" Coles (snicker). QB points will come from Collins, who's not feeling very Randy at the moment. Chuck will need serious points from Flash in the Pan Willie and Rudi to move on. Has anyone ever told Rudi that only girls spell Rudi with an "i"? It's cute, but not very manly.
Head: Head says who the hell knows with this group.
Heart: Heart says not me, not me, not me!
Gut: Gut says the LT/Shaun loser will be packing their bags. Since the Hawks are at home, I think RBP is done dealing. |
| 1 | Shak
ID: 481029813
Wed, Oct 19, 2005, 19:32
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Very quiet 'round here. I guess everyone's getting charged up for this weekend.
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| 2 | RBP
ID: 2962315
Thu, Oct 20, 2005, 03:32
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I'm Jimbo. Very nice run down, the fellas will be back as Sunday nears. Don't forget that 10 teams have been eliminated so their will be less guys checking the site as the season goes on. Wait til week 13, their will be only the hard core guys posting. Nature of the beast in this format.
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| 3 | Joe
ID: 4652283
Thu, Oct 20, 2005, 04:53
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Great post Shak but I did not realize that the Chargers were playing against the eagles and the..........calm down just kidding. Have not really looked at the rosters of the other teams this week...........except SupaMario of course. I have decided that this will be his week off the ECC due to the fact that he will be missing his goldenboy number one pick T. Brady and caddy williams. maybe just wishful thinking...maybe it is time for the giant girly like team to fall.
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| 4 | Joe
ID: 4652283
Thu, Oct 20, 2005, 05:02
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As commissioner in my other leagues I have initiated a dress code that I believe should be instated in this league as well when posting messages. Its not as hardliner as the NBA’s, so SHAK can continue to wear his bling bling. I think people should simply wear pants when posting messages. (EDnecks looking down below his waist……how did Joe know) Its better for the work environment. Just a thought!
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| 5 | FNAS
ID: 583922
Thu, Oct 20, 2005, 07:34
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I must protest the pants rule and will show my protest by sitting butt naked all weekend, wearing nothing but my HEMI hat.
This rule is in clear violation of my civil liberties as it does not allow me to be my own man.
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| 6 | Edneck
ID: 115222815
Thu, Oct 20, 2005, 10:16
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You funny Joe!! My wife has a few rules of her own and no Bare-Butts shall touch the frabric of the new Sofa.
I think we all have to hope/wish for a Joe and JHHH leaving party. JHHH has gotten too big for his pants anyway, so he's probably Butt-naked as we speak. Kosovo women have gotten together and rasied a huge amount of cash for Joe to please keep those drawls on at all times..
Shak being the #1 scorer in the JBC is the most surprising thing to me, I would not have thought it possible after the draft, but it's goes to show you can never tell, until a few games have been played. Manning/Culpepper/Green have been disappointing. J. Lewis/DD/Green also. You can never go wrong with LT/Alexander/James..money. After Mario took Brady so early I was sure he was retarded and Joe was giving him false info to make him look like the smart guy from Kosovo.
A very strange Survivor/NFL year, so it wouldn't surprise me who wins it this year.
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| 7 | JHHH
ID: 2204499
Thu, Oct 20, 2005, 11:44
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I don't like being featured in Shak's Weekly Rundowns....but I am sweating it out this week. Worst case scenario still puts my Astros in the World Series though baby!!!!!
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| 8 | Joe
ID: 4652283
Thu, Oct 20, 2005, 11:44
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I yelled at Supamario when he drafted TB, and then we cried together. I wanted him to succeed, but only so far, not past week....3. Hey guys gotta go. Peace out my nizzles in A-town.
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| 9 | Shak
ID: 481029813
Thu, Oct 20, 2005, 11:52
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It's absolutely insane that I have the highest scoring team. I had to go back and check the excel formulas to make sure it was right. After the draft I wasn't happy with my team, but to be the number one team with Manning putting up pedestrian numbers is nuts. I expected him to be the #1 scorer in the league, but he's 22nd and only #10 QB. Heck, on my team he's only #4 behind S Moss, C Johnson, and T Jones. That's whacked!
Unfortunately, it won't last past this week. I'm getting no points from Rattay and Bennett. How much longer can S Moss keep putting up monster numbers? Manning has a bye next week, so I'll enjoy it for now and be ready to leave next week.
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| 10 | Joe
ID: 4652283
Thu, Oct 20, 2005, 13:40
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“I wonder how I became the talk of the (SNU) Survivor News Update, but nevertheless if we are going to post information we might as well get it right. The past week I had five people with no output for one reason or the other. And as the bottom keeps falling out of this mess, I know I can't hang on much longer. But until then Victory is Mine!!!”
In memory of
Ajaye
22 SEP 04
10:27 AM
This Rero Survivor moment was brought to you by the letter J and number 32
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| 11 | RBP
ID: 249302018
Thu, Oct 20, 2005, 20:31
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Ahh, Ajaye.
He would draft a player and I'd have to go see if that player was still in the NFL. As I'm sure Shak would call him, "Dead Money".
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| 12 | Joe
ID: 4652283
Fri, Oct 21, 2005, 13:50
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WOW, its is quiet on this post. Everyone remeber there is a game tonight....right.
Mario off the rock
then Ed
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| 13 | Edneck
ID: 115222815
Fri, Oct 21, 2005, 15:06
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Hey Joe, you got a QB to play this week? He He!!
MArio is the King of Kosovo Fantasy...
Joe off the rock
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| 14 | Joe
ID: 4652283
Sat, Oct 22, 2005, 11:12
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You funny Edneck!! I hope you feel good using one of my renta QB's while mine is riding the pine. (that rhymes)
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| 15 | RBP
ID: 2962315
Sat, Oct 22, 2005, 23:43
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"He desperately needs Jerry, err, Jamal Lewis to get his feces co-located"
How did I miss that on the initial read? LMAO!
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| 16 | Joe
ID: 319572222
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 01:01
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"Duce getting stale", it took six hours of drinking and watching one of our buildings on HQ to burn down......but now I get it!
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| 17 | Shak
ID: 165532722
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 12:12
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Uh oh, T Holt is out -- bad news for Shak and GCobb. I now think these two teams are leaving.
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| 18 | Joe
ID: 49951912
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 17:02
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Hey...all I can says is mixed emotions here. LT shut down by the mighty Eagle D. We get a win that we should not have gotten. But hey, I would rather leave an island that is led by Tom Brady and Mario then lose an NFL football game.
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| 19 | Shak
ID: 165532722
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 17:12
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Barnburner in ECC between Shak and RBP. It will probably come down to MNF between Vick and Dunn.
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| 20 | Shak
ID: 165532722
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 17:34
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Reaper, Mario, and Clyde are in a deadheat in the JBC. GCobb may live to see another week.
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| 21 | Shak
ID: 165532722
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 20:52
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ECC:
RBP: 20 +Dunn
Shak: 31.5 +Vick (Manning has 18)
JHHH: 34
Immunity: Trash (127.5)
JBC:
Reaper: 21 +Vick, McCareins
Mario: 40 +CMart
GCobb: 49.5
Immunity:
STB: 87
Trash: 70.5 +Dunn
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| 22 | Edneck
ID: 115222815
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 21:25
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Damn you Trash I score 126 in the ECC and still can't get immunity.
I think the ECC is a complete toss up on those three leaving, Dunn can score 14 very easy. Vick getting over 20+ for Shak to stay alive is possible for sure. If I was JHHH I'd be a little scared. I still think Shak is going home.
In the JBC I think Reaper is done unless McCariens gets double figures.
Good Luck fellows
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| 23 | RBP
ID: 499272319
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 21:30
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I doubt it's me, crazy things can happen though. I'd like to hang around in at least 1 league though. How many owners are alive in both?
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| 24 | Edneck
ID: 115222815
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 21:54
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9 teams alive in both. Shak, Tribe, STB, LR, Trash, Ednecks, Joe, JHHH, Mario.
3 teams done in both leagues: 2Cool, Harmon, CPS.
6 teams with one team left: GCobb, RBP, Reaper, FNAS, TB, Clyde.
RBP and Reaper could me gone in both after this week.
Looks like the getting rid of GCobb in the ECC was a blessing for the rest of the teams left and Getting rid of FNAS and TB in the JBC will make a few teams happy..FNAS probably the biggest lose so far.
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| 25 | Shak
ID: 165532722
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 22:21
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Just put me out of my misery. I can't take Jamal Lewis anymore. He has to be the biggest disappointment of the first round, and thus, of the entire draft. He should've just stayed in jail. Bum!
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| 26 | RBP
ID: 499272319
Sun, Oct 23, 2005, 23:55
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I dropped Stephen Jackson in a keeper league and took Lewis in his stead. I got seriously burned in that deal. Alexander and Jackson would have been a nice combo for the next 3-5 years.......oh well. Oh yeah Ahman Green sucks too. Never again......
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| 27 | Edneck
ID: 115222815
Mon, Oct 24, 2005, 00:17
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I decided before any of my drafts that I would stay away from three RB's, Lewis, Green and F. Taylor...Glad I did as of right now. Now on the otherhand I was high on McAllister and DD, so it all evens out. Was pretty sure Green and Lewis would have trouble this year. After seeing Jamal in a few games last year, he looked slow and people were just loading up the box, plus he's not a factor in the passing game.
7-0 in the LMSCL, didn't see that coming, thought I would finsh around .500? Jordan, Dunn, C. Johnson and S. Smith have been huge!! Sweet!!
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| 28 | Joe
ID: 4652283
Mon, Oct 24, 2005, 07:51
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To Joe,
Hey Joe, you got a QB to play this week? He He!!
MArio is the King of Kosovo Fantasy...
Joe off the rock
Love
Edneck
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| 29 | Shak
ID: 481029813
Mon, Oct 24, 2005, 10:15
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This quote is from my post above:
He desperately needs Jerry, err, Jamal Lewis to get his feces co-located. Could be tough sledding this week in Soldier Field.
This is from Jerry, err, Jamal Lewis after the game yesterday:
"They force you to cut back and somebody's there waiting," Lewis said. "It was tough sledding."
That would really be funny if he wasn't my #1 pick in the ECC.
Lewis' Quote
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| 30 | Joe
ID: 4652283
Mon, Oct 24, 2005, 10:21
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funny stuff
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| 31 | RBP
ID: 30922422
Tue, Oct 25, 2005, 00:04
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I could be wrong but that looks like I'm off the hook. JHHH and Shak, and it all rests on Vick who already has 2 TD's (needs 21 to advance). Would be a shame to see either go, especially Shak since he does the sheets.
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| 32 | TB
Sherpa
ID: 031811922
Tue, Oct 25, 2005, 00:39
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...especially Shak since he does the sheets
We don't really like him a lot, but he has a car and buys us beer, so it's all good.
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| 33 | Shak
ID: 165532722
Tue, Oct 25, 2005, 01:04
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Was that from a movie? I'm disappointed I can't think of the movie.
Any monkey can do the stats, but who's going to write spot-on predictions that are so entertaining?
I will never ever draft Jamal Lewis in any FFL again. In fact I won't draft anyone named Jamal or Lewis ever again even if I live to be a hundred years old. What a f@#&ing bum!
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| 34 | RBP
ID: 30922422
Tue, Oct 25, 2005, 02:57
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Animal House maybe?
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| 35 | Shak
ID: 481029813
Tue, Oct 25, 2005, 13:21
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Holy Cow!! The Texans are 2-point favorites to win this week vs. the Browns. This could be the last time Houston is favored this year.
I have Jan 1st circled on my calendar for a game of the ages that will have huge stakes. The Texans come calling to SF in what undoubtedly will be the game that will decide who gets the #1 pick. Both teams should have no more than one win. How appropriate that they should face each other on the last day of the regular season with everything on the line. Thank God for the Sunday Ticket!
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| 36 | Shak
ID: 481029813
Tue, Oct 25, 2005, 14:43
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This just in from Shannon Sharpe:
I honestly don't expect Philadelphia to win many more games. The Eagles have no running game at all and the defense simply cannot possibly play that well every week. Donovan McNabb is not his usual self. That means the team to beat in the NFC East is Washington. Yes, the Washington Redskins.
Hmmm, whattya say, Joe?
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| 37 | RBP
ID: 2962315
Wed, Oct 26, 2005, 02:28
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I stopped reading right after "Sharpe".
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| 38 | Joe
ID: 4652283
Wed, Oct 26, 2005, 13:07
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You know, it is shame they let some people on TV. It is funny to me how the eagles are criticized for their lack of running game yet the Falcons who are in great shape have a passing game just as good as the eagles running game i.e. no passing game…. But they are ok, cause they got Vick. I aint worried. Gotta get some sleep now
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| 39 | Shak
ID: 481029813
Wed, Oct 26, 2005, 15:34
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If you missed the end of the Minn/GB game, here's a great recap:
Minnesota Vikings (2-4)
Here's how they beat Green Bay. The Packers have been stopped on third down and are now about to kick the field goal that will tie the game. The clock shows 1:10 and running. "Stop the clock!" scream thousands of Vikings fans in the Metrodome, imploring coach Tice to use his final timeout. "For God's sake, stop it!" The clock continues to run. Fans are fainting, chickens are squawking, police are arresting demonstrators right and left. "The clock, stop it!" Down to 40 seconds it goes, 39. Tice studies his wristwatch. Hmmm, seems to be working all right. What are they yelling about? Down to 30, 29. "Stop the clock!" A drunk wakes up. "Stop the fight," he mumbles. Finally at 0:28 the Packers stop the clock. And tie the game. And the Vikings get a 25-yard kickoff return, and have barely enough time to run two plays and kick a 56-yard field goal, second longest game-winner in NFL history. "See, I knew I did the right thing," says Tice, who had used his final T.O. to set up this monster kick. And that's how they beat Green Bay.
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| 40 | TB
Sherpa
ID: 031811922
Wed, Oct 26, 2005, 21:12
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That is some funny sh1t. Almost as funny as this line from above I may have lost Drew "Dick" Bennett for awhile, but I should have Burleson back (he'll have to work hard to try to intercept a few of CPep's tosses). That still has me laughing everytime I open this thread and recall it being posted above.
Good job with this weeks predictions. I enjoy reading your stuff.
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| 41 | Shak
ID: 481029813
Thu, Oct 27, 2005, 10:23
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Need help. I have to beat RBP in another league. Who do I start?
Culpepper @Carolina
McCown @Dallas
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