| 0 |
Subject: OT - Dating Survey
Posted by: Great One
- [46361920] Sun, May 01, 2005, 13:51
Wasn't sure which forum to put this in but since dating is kind of a game and sure as heck is entertainment... here I go...
Recently pulled out of a relationship with a girl who just drove me insane so have a couple of "first dates" lined up.
What are your opinions on length of time I should open the car door for them? haha...
I know to always open normal doors (i.e. restaurant), thats standard and I would never stop doing.
Perhaps from those of you who are married, when did you stop opening the car door or have you ever/never? only on special occasions?
now THATS a topic! lol... talk amongst yourselves. |
| 1 | kev
ID: 3155515
Sun, May 01, 2005, 15:01
|
I have been dating a girl for 2 years and still open the car door for her, along with doing the other things a "gentleman" is supposed to do.
I figure if you stop, you have shown her what you were doing was the fake you. Then she wont take off her clothes as often as you like.
|
| 2 | Skidazl
Leader
ID: 379312323
Sun, May 01, 2005, 16:25
|
haven't opened the door for my wife since I got a car with remote entry.... ;-)
|
| 3 | Great One
ID: 46361920
Sun, May 01, 2005, 18:16
|
kev - that is a better answer than I could possibly imagine lol... thats reason enough for me!
remote entry seems like a good idea then too.
|
| 4 | sarge33rd
ID: 2610442916
Sun, May 01, 2005, 19:15
|
been married to katie for 2 years and was with her for 2 years before that. I still open the car door for her, store doors, restauramt doors, etc etc etc.
|
| 5 | sarge33rd
ID: 2610442916
Sun, May 01, 2005, 19:16
|
hit the "post" button too soon.
reminds me actually of when I got promoted to sgt in the army. tradition says, you go the nco club and get wasted. I said I had to call home first and "check" with the wife. Got razzed about who wears the pants in the family. My response was, "I wear 'em. But its sort of upto her how often I get to take 'em off." :)
|
| 6 | TB
Leader
ID: 031811922
Sun, May 01, 2005, 19:34
|
When I made SGT, the tradition was to pin on the rank but leave the backs off. You walk down the gauntlet and every NCO beats the rank into your upper chest. You then have to buy 5 cases of beer for your platoon to drink (6 when you make E-6, 7 when you make E-7, etc). I don't think I have been in an NCO club since 87 or 88. Don't even know if they still have them stateside.
As far as opening doors for women, always have and always will. As Kev stated above, it is the gentlemanly thing to do.
|
| 7 | Challenger
Donor
ID: 481126818
Sun, May 01, 2005, 19:41
|
What are your opinions on length of time I should open the car door for them?
The answer is obvious! Long enough for them to actually clear you closing the door! (Don't guesstimate! Hitting/hurting the woman with the door my be much worse than not opening it for them)
My wife is now rolling her eyes
|
| 8 | Great One
ID: 46361920
Sun, May 01, 2005, 19:56
|
ROTFL! good stuff...
|
| 9 | GolfFreak
ID: 50444113
Sun, May 01, 2005, 21:27
|
Ill open the car door at a nice restaurant, movies, family reunions.(Just to make the inlaws look bad.)
If we are going out for a nite on the town. She does like it. But not for everyday stuff.
|
| 10 | blue hen
ID: 353412123
Sun, May 01, 2005, 22:39
|
Always open the door for her.
But then be a jerk anyway.
|
| 11 | Razor
ID: 36241218
Mon, May 02, 2005, 10:42
|
I don't think I've ever opened a car door for a woman nor will I. I think it's a bit insulting, as I would feel brainless if someone came around and did it for me. Opening a door to go in somewhere is different as you both have to pass through the door.
|
| 12 | Sludge
ID: 54692111
Mon, May 02, 2005, 13:08
|
What are your opinions on length of time I should open the car door for them?
Long enough for her to get out of/get into the vehicle. Duh!
|
| 13 | Alex Trebek
Dude
ID: 439372011
Mon, May 02, 2005, 13:24
|
Ooooh, sorry! Please see post 7, sludge.
|
| 14 | Perm Dude
ID: 17321143
Mon, May 02, 2005, 13:29
|
I agree with Razor. I don't think I'd ever want to go out with a woman who sat in her seat waiting for me to open her door.
Unless she was in the back of the police car and we were role-playing...
|
| 15 | blue hen
ID: 34342811
Mon, May 02, 2005, 14:31
|
No no. You open the door on the way IN. Every time. Just walk to her side instead of your side, open the door, and walk around to your side. If she likes you, she'll open your door from the inside.
|
| 16 | Perm Dude
ID: 17321143
Mon, May 02, 2005, 15:02
|
And if she doesn't she'll lock the door.
Still and all, anyone who waits for a car door to get opened can spend their time with someone else as far as I'm concerned.
|
| 17 | Sludge
ID: 54692111
Mon, May 02, 2005, 17:09
|
See, it would be helpful if I read more than the 1st post of a thread in these forums.
|
| 18 | RecycledSpinalFluid
Dude
ID: 204401122
Mon, May 02, 2005, 17:26
|
Been married for ten years, known her for eight before that...can't think of one single time I have opened a car door with her inside it already. Thats plain stupid.
Opening it for her on the way in...maybe if I was unlocking the door...can't recall really doing much of that either. Sheesh.
Mrs. Fluid must be a little less "prissy" than all that, I guess...and I'm glad for that.
|
| 19 | Outsidergua
ID: 93551414
Mon, May 02, 2005, 17:41
|
Opening the door car in order to get in is always a must, but once she is inside it already... I don't think that many girls care for that anymore.
|
| 20 | Great One
ID: 46361920
Mon, May 02, 2005, 18:31
|
So we have come across some women who wait on the inside for you to come around and let them OUT? wow...
|
| 21 | The Beezer
Leader
ID: 191202817
Mon, May 02, 2005, 22:47
|
Just make her drive.
|
| 22 | Great One
ID: 46361920
Tue, May 03, 2005, 21:23
|
I am meeting her at Chevy's for Cinco de Mayo which avoids any car situations - at least on the first date! Just margaritas and normal doors and listening to The Nerds - great 80s cover band.
|
| 23 | kev
ID: 3155515
Tue, May 03, 2005, 21:29
|
My girlfriend and I are currently breaking up...so the lesson, as always, opening doors doesn't lead to much, expect the consistant stepping on nuts girls tend to do often.
|
| 24 | Great One
ID: 46361920
Tue, May 03, 2005, 21:35
|
kev - thats it, I am coming to Canada! lets go pick up some chicks and break some hearts and drink some of that fine Canadian beer!
|
| 25 | katietx
ID: 2610442916
Wed, May 04, 2005, 09:52
|
been married to katie for 2 years and was with her for 2 years before that. I still open the car door for her, store doors, restauramt doors, etc etc etc.
I can't remember the last time you opened the car door! LOL The other doors you're pretty good about.
Guess I should just stand by the car and wait...it'll only take you 5 minutes to figure it out! ;-)
|
| 26 | Perm Dude
ID: 17321143
Wed, May 04, 2005, 10:16
|
That's why he always wants to take the bike, katie. No worry about doors and whether to open them.
|
| 27 | KTx
ID: 4731252
Wed, May 04, 2005, 11:49
|
Ouch, caught lying by your wife on a fantasy sports forum! Look what you started, Great One. =D
|
| 28 | blue hen
ID: 34342811
Wed, May 04, 2005, 11:52
|
KTX posting in a dating forum! Ouch, look what you started, Great One.
|
| 29 | Cosmo's Cod Piece
ID: 11314719
Wed, May 04, 2005, 19:26
|
My wife and I are blessed with a wonderful marriage...BUTT
If I opened the car door for my wife, she might be inclined to close it on my thumb.
She's very independant, self-motivated, and self-reliant so she kinda looks down on things like that.
|
| 30 | sarge33rd
ID: 2610442916
Wed, May 04, 2005, 19:27
|
she's downstairs laughing right now, knowing I caught flack AND knowing what I said is true. I DO open the door for her and then she gets in and neglects to unlock my door. Fortunately, I generally have they keys in hand and unlocking isnt a major hassle at that point.
|
| 31 | Great One
ID: 46361920
Wed, May 04, 2005, 21:59
|
I have the privilege to be going out with Blue Hen saturday night to a wrestling event... I will be sure to let everyone know if he expects me to open the door for him or not! Or if he will help pull out my chair before we sit down (and hand it to a wrestler to crack over someone else's skull of course!)
|
| 32 | TB
Leader
ID: 031811922
Thu, May 05, 2005, 00:39
|
LOL. Awesome, have a blast.
It is great to hear that some women are independant and can open their own car doors, but on a date it can be the perfect time to sneak a kiss too. I suppose most of you married guys quit the pretense of romance after 4 or 5 days of being married, though. =) Just kidding.
I don't get the whole "looking down on that kind of thing" statement from above, CCP. Does she look down on men who were raised to be gentlemen or does she look down on women who allow a man to be a gentleman? I think a woman can be independant and still allow herself to be wined and dined and treated like a lady. We can arm wrestle at work or she can pick up the business lunch tab. Let the hair down on a date.
I think someone explained it above, but it is not opening the car door when they get out of the car. It is walking with them to the car door when you are getting into the car. Lots of interesting things can happen on their side of the car during a date. The worst thing that can happen is that they think you have manners. If a woman is uncomfortable with you opening the car door for her, she will let you know. If she sits down and tries to pull the car door shut herself, it is a sign she isn't into having the door opened for her. I have dated more women who have enjoyed that small courtesy than not.
|
| 33 | Perm Dude
ID: 17321143
Thu, May 05, 2005, 00:45
|
TB: I should let CCP's wife speak for herself, but I took his comment to be in reference to men who try to impress women with obviously out-of-sort gestures like opening car doors. Gentlemen don't need to make such showy gestures and women these days know it. Women are very perceptive, in my experience, in determing men who are faking it for show and men who are naturally comfortable within themselves and generous.
|
| 34 | TB
Leader
ID: 031811922
Thu, May 05, 2005, 01:27
|
Well then, we are labeling people. Men who say it is demeaning to open a door for a woman come across a little lazy to me. If it is an out-of-sort gesture for them then I would agree with what you said. I am surprised that more men weren't raised to open or hold doors open for women. Not just women, but old people as well.
My son is 12 and I watch with pride as he holds the door open not just for women but for adults. I don't see it as a showy gesture, but that falls back on each person's upbringing. For me, it is a sincere jesture and just happens naturally. I don't think about it before doing it. Like I said above, I have dated some women who weren't into it and I had to make a conscious effort to not open the door for them. This is just my opinion, but opening the door for a woman epitomizes being a gentleman. I suppose in today's world, not making a woman pull your finger when you need to fart might be more gentlemanly. =)
|
| 35 | Perm Dude
ID: 17321143
Thu, May 05, 2005, 01:30
|
Who said it is demeaning? I say it's affected.
My son is 7--about time to work on the finger trick...
|
| 36 | TB
Leader
ID: 031811922
Thu, May 05, 2005, 01:34
|
Traditionally, that is something that is taught by an Uncle or one of your friends. It falls under the "It takes a village..." theory. The best part is when they show Mom the new trick and you somehow get blamed for it.
|
| 37 | Cosmo's Cod Piece
ID: 11314719
Thu, May 05, 2005, 06:29
|
TB, PD: The reference to "looks down on things like that" is stating that she is independant and that she doesn't understand why some women need/want guys to open all the doors, carry all the groceries, etc. If somebody is sick or something she gets its, otherwise not really.
The one thing that she does go for is dropping her off at the restaurant/mall/etc entrance when it is raining.
We've (my wife and I) talked about this before and she thinks its demeaning to women sometimes because she's really into (myself also) having women being treated equally to men.
To address PD's specific point, "I took his comment to be in reference to men who try to impress women with obviously out-of-sort gestures like opening car doors."
Its hysterical PD brings that up. The Mrs. and I went out to our favorite restaurant for our recent wedding anniversary (3 years) and there was a couple sitting next to us in their mid-30s and on their first date.
The cheeseball lines being spewed forth from the gaping maw of that idiot man made me embarassed for guys everywhere.
We actually imitated them quietly at our table.
"So what are your favorite movies?"
"I love documentaries on John Wayne Gacy....A LOT! Would you perhaps like to come home to my mothers house and I'll give you a tour of her basement. Mind you to keep your shoes on as the floor is loose dirt and ignore the odor..we're renevating."
It was a blast.
|
| 38 | Toral
ID: 14263120
Thu, May 05, 2005, 07:04
|
Sports note:
Sonny Werblin, then New York Jets owner, had a lot of money to sign the best college quarterback of the year, and so was granted/lent/traded the AFL's first draft choice.
There were two college quarterbacks considered relatively equal that year. Wismer and his wife had dinner with them both.
The top-rated quarterback, Jerry Rhome, was a hick from the sticks. After the dinner, getting into the car for the drive home, he ignored Werblin's wife and just got into the front seat of Werblin's car. Sonny was recorded as saying to himself "this guy's not New York".
The second-rated candidate, Joe Namath, had a great dinner and flirted politely with Werblin's wife. On the way into the car after the restaurant, he gallantly opened the door for Mrs. Werblin, sat beside her in the back seat and chatted her up pleasantly (with his husband driving).
Result: the Jets traded their rights to Jerry Rhome to Houston for its #1 draft pick, used that pick to draft Joe Namath, and signed him for a then record $427K the day after the Orange Bowl.
---------------------------------------------
Moral of the story:
Always be sensitive to a woman's door-opening preferences.
Toral
|
| 39 | Razor
ID: 36241218
Thu, May 05, 2005, 10:31
|
No. To paraphrase PD, any woman that wants me to open her car door can find another man to do it for her. I don't do that and no woman I'd want to be with would want me to do that. In fact, I once got in an argument with my then girlfriend who was super-independent and feminist and keenly aware of gender inequities (like when a waiter brings the check directly to the man, even once when it had her picture on it). She mentioned (I don't remember in what context) that she didn't expect me to open her car door, just that she thought it was nice. Nice....... I was surprised and a little offended by this. The hypocrisy really grated on my nerves.
|
| 40 | Great One
ID: 46361920
Sun, May 08, 2005, 12:19
|
Because the weather was so nice, the doors were all already open for Blue Hen and I!
|
| 41 | blue hen
ID: 353412123
Sun, May 08, 2005, 12:47
|
Whoa there buddy.
|
| 42 | katietx
ID: 32436810
Sun, May 08, 2005, 13:05
|
Hmmm, I thinking some of you guys just don't get it.
Opening doors, pulling the chair out has nothing to do with gender bias or anything similar.
Its courtesy! And the door swings both ways. If I'm going into a door I will always hold it open for the person behind me, be it a man or woman...just courtesy.
Do I expect a man to open the door? No, of course not.
And, btw, we went out for dinner last night and sarge did open the car door when we left the restaurant. However, he didn't open it when we left the house. ;-)
|
| 43 | Judy
ID: 03531713
Sat, May 14, 2005, 16:39
|
Do as much as you can. Flattery goes both way's. Our 24th anniversary is coming this month and though it's not a good time in our marriage, everthing count's, everything matters, little things mean the most. Pay attention. I remember my first date with my husband, the first kiss everything and he doesn't.
|
| 44 | Judy
ID: 03531713
Sat, May 14, 2005, 16:48
|
I once asked some friends how long they had been married. The answer was "Not long enough!" I have known them 9 years now and I still don't know how long. Not long enough! Who picks who? Just want to say what ever you do will define you. You will probably want to go home having given your best. So maybe she didn't, but you did.
|
| 45 | nat
ID: 42644519
Tue, Jul 05, 2005, 20:44
|
Okay, my b/f was talking about a test guys do, but he won't tell me what it is. All he said is it's from a movie where the girl should do this at the beginning of a date after the guy does something. he said it's also in a punk rock song and that in the movie, they say if the girl doesn't do this, you should get rid of her. The only thing i can think of is this..that the girl should unlock the door from the inside after the guy opens her car door. does anyone else have any other ideas or know of the movie???
|
| 46 | sarge33rd
ID: 45522117
Wed, Jul 06, 2005, 00:14
|
...they say if the girl doesn't do this, you should get rid of her.
not gonna touch that. nope. ;)
|
| 47 | xpdurmind
Sustainer
ID: 319471922
Wed, Jul 06, 2005, 00:28
|
Been dating the same woman for 3 years now (about time for a trade in!) She gives me grief about not walking down the stairs in front of her and up the stairs behind her?!... Her reasonning is that it is the gentelmanly thing to do in case she trips. She doesn't say anything when I remotely open the car doors before getting in, but don't physically open the door. Yet when she drives, she opens my door( no remote entry in her car) and even picks up the check more than I do.
Our values are partly dictated by past experiences. I opened the car door for my ex wife for 9 years, but was never confortable doing so everytime. What I have learned is that it is always best be be yourself. Do what comes naturally, If she doesn't like it and she's interested she'll let you know. At least you showed her your true self. And whether you decide on doing those little things that matter to her or not, you need to keep in mind that she's keeping track :)
nat,
Your bf is probably referring to the movie: A Bronx Tale, where Chazz Palminteri tells "C" to have both doors locked when he goes to pick her up. Then open her door, and if she doesn't lean over to open yours, to get rid of her, because she's showing that she'll be selfish in the relationship. IIRC
|
| 48 | Motley Crue
ID: 213222620
Wed, Jul 06, 2005, 08:52
|
Amazing how this Message Forum has branched out since it's inception...
|
| 49 | Farn
Sustainer
ID: 451044109
Wed, Jul 06, 2005, 12:54
|
xpdurmind is right on.
the problem is that most new cars have keyless entry now which shoots the theory to crap. but its definately a great way to see whats going on with her.
I'm also a huge fan of the fake "let me pay for the meal" offer. (This is for the beginning of the relationship) All I want to see is her see the check and reach for her purse, maybe even get it unzipped and have her hand on her money. If I see that I'm fine. But if you sit there like a dolt and don't move and are waiting for me to pick up each tab then I get annoyed. (Obviously this is for the random, he didn't specifically ask her date. If he asked he pays.)
|
| 50 | blue hen
Leader
ID: 710321114
Wed, Jul 06, 2005, 14:05
|
I think the movie was called "Say Anything" and was directed by Cameron Crowe.
|
| 51 | Cosmo's Cod Piece
ID: 11314719
Wed, Jul 06, 2005, 20:35
|
"they say if the girl doesn't do this, you should get rid of her"
Oh yeah. This could be a million things and I'm not going to mention one of them for fear a kid would see it.
Farn: There's variables there brother. If this girl is special (either emotionally or physically) don't worry about the check, make sure you pick it up. How does the random date happen where nobody asks out who?
|
| 52 | beastiemiked
ID: 262411016
Wed, Jul 06, 2005, 23:28
|
How does the random date happen where nobody asks out who?
I've had a few. It happens when you meet someone at a bar or through a friend and talk about 10-15 minutes. Enough time to figure out if there is a mutual attraction but not long enough notice all the negatives about the person. At the end of the conversation you exchange numbers and talk about going out sometime. Granted, someone will have to make the initial phone call but I don't consider that asking the person out because in reality the number exchange is the acceptance of the date.
|
|
|
|
Post a reply to this message: (But first, how about checking out this sponsor?)
|