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Subject: The Tradeless Tavern temptation Posted by: Klaus E - [4310141417] Fri, Jan 12, 14:47 Once upon a time there was this happy SW-camper who'd recently gained big bucks on his SW-teams. He was SW-happy. He'd been looking ahead and had noted the need for a lot of trades in the blessed near future. The solid producers on his team were heading for shallow waters. Throughout his joyous SW-life he'd been told to conserve trades. "Save them for injuries, slumps and selloffs," his wise guru-mentors had noted ever so often. And that lecture had usually been followed by the thundering warning: "Stay on your projected trading path. Don't be rushed unless there is a reason. And never ever visit the tempting weekend-girls at Tradeless Tavern. They'll get you drunk. They'll play tricks on you and make you fall asleep a happy man. But once you wake up reality will slap you in the face. You'll have the worst hangover, your SW-players will be hit by VDs and finally you'll learn that the money you pocketed yesterday will vanish" It was sound advice. The happy SW-camper, curious as he was, had been to Tradeless Tavern several times but never on weekends. And he found the Monday nights to be good nights. He'd only been hungover once - and he definitely didn't want to try that again. Then came dark Friday - ignorant Friday. Like in that old song by U2 Friday, Ignorant Friday. All the good advice from his guru-mentors was brushed aside. Players with mediocre scheds gained big bucks and solid players with good scheds lost ludicrous amounts. The not-so-happy SW-camper got furious. His entire world crumbled. How could anybody justify this? With closed fists he started pacing up and down the livingroom floor. When he stopped a few hours later he was staring thru the window. And there in the distance he saw the twinkling billboard at Tradeless Tavern... and it had never looked better... ... anybody dare to take this any further? | ||||||
| 1 | jumpball ID: 4644339 Fri, Jan 12, 15:01 |
. . . and in the foreground, there was a small black and white sign over a plain looking door indicating that a Tradeaholics Anonymous meeting was being held that evening. Which will he choose? | |||||
| 2 | Addicted ID: 610441810 Fri, Jan 12, 16:28 |
And at the Tradeaholics meeting there was a Karokee bar playing Addicted's Smallworld Tunes... Hold that trade, Hold that trade, Hold that trade ... | |||||
| 3 | Klaus E ID: 4310141417 Fri, Jan 12, 17:40 |
The SW-camper turned his back to the window and looked at the poster of his all-time favorite... the player currently known as Grounded Jordan. "It's no use," he softly whispered. All of a sudden the voice of Mr. Jordan sounded in his head. "RESIST," the voice pounded. "Why??? I have been conserving trades week in and week out." "OH YEAH... how many trades you have left?" "3 and 2!" the SW-camper said with conviction proud that he'd resisted trading on one team on trade-allottment Tuesday. "... and to what use. To see some dumb fools playing with my RV with silly lemming-moves. What's the use of spending hours each day calculating moves and montoring box scores when the logic simply is not there." "TUFF. You're nothing but a triggerhappy trader... TRADER.." The words echoed from the walls. "I am what??? I've done nothing but listening to advice and holding back trades all year." Doubt crept into the SW-camper's voice. "BS... If you had done that you'd have trades to play with this week. Tell me the last time you finished a trading week with two trades." "Eeeeeeh..." "WELL???" The still-unhappy SW-camper opened the door and gazed into the rainy night. His eyes caught the poster advertizing the meeting at Tradeaholics Anonymous and from beyond the white TA-door he heard The Gambler finishing and the first beats in Oops, I Traded Again. He could hardly see the billboard at Tradeless Tavern... and the rain was getting heavier. Standing in front of the white door he raised his hand and started knocking. | |||||
| 4 | All Smallworld Team ID: 3611202617 Fri, Jan 12, 21:41 | whoa is this ur life its so sad u need help | |||||
| 5 | Klaus E ID: 4310141417 Sat, Jan 13, 01:53 | It's a fairytale... didn't you see the Once upon a time at the beginning ;-) | |||||
| 6 | Supersonica ID: 539341821 Sat, Jan 13, 02:12 | Yeah I was thinking "holy $hit" I have 3 trades left and it's Saturday" Then I said " well i guess I will burn the last 3 I have today instead of on tuesday like I planned!" Hey...I was losing...money? | |||||
| 7 | Rox1 ID: 359182818 Sat, Jan 13, 10:47 | Hey, I was good until 30 minutes ago, when I burned my last trade | |||||
| 8 | coolbeans_bnlKMS ID: 40421116 Sat, Jan 13, 11:46 | After that last trade he took he checked his stats: 3DNP, 2 injuies. He blew the trade and his team. His total points were 53. | |||||
| 9 | BillB ID: 49442321 Sun, Jan 14, 12:11 |
....the white door opened slightly, revealing a dimly-lit room. SW-Camper eased the door open. A few patrons briefly looked up at the stranger, then buried their faces back into their Sartible cocktails, mumbling about better SWP/G/$ and invalid rosters. "Well, come in, stranger. Let's not let that rain soak you any further." Camper looked to his right to seek out the voice. "Got a chair for you right here." Camper closed the white door. The last strains of Ooops..I Traded Again faded from the ancient Wurlitzer in the far corner. "Your new in these parts, aren't you? Don't remember you comin' in for the weekend TA meeting." "Yeah, yeah...first time here," Camper managed to stammer out. "Well, welcome." The stranger extended his hand. "My name is Dave, but you can call me Guru." Camper gripped his hand. It was a firm, yet somewhat clammy grasp. "Hello Da..er, Guru." "You look like you need a little bracer. How 'bout a shot of our house specialty?" | |||||
| 10 | Addicted ID: 610441810 Mon, Jan 15, 05:19 |
Guru pointed over to the Jukebox. Addicted was selecting another tune on it. "Money for Nothing" starting playing. "That's how I feel right now" said Camper. Guru called Addicted over to the table. "Addicted, this is Camper", said Guru. "Hi, glad to have you here", Addicted said. "I think I'm tradeless" started playing. "You know, I was tradeless once Back in Jan of 2001; Worst feeling you'll ever have. But I made it over here to Tradeaholics Anonymous and I actually broke the top 100 the following year. These RotoGuru's, they know what they're talking about. It's all about schedules and points. Sure these DNP's will be bad. I got the shakes going through trade withdrawal. But I'm a much better player now. You could be too" Camper looked at his final trade. "EVERYONE, MY NAME IS CAMPER!!! AND I"M A TRADEAHOLIC !!!" "I'm holding Odom, 'til Wednesday", He shouted All the Guru's applaused. | |||||
| 11 | VIDevilRays ID: 508151619 Mon, Jan 15, 06:36 |
He walked in and, in the dimly lit room, saw Shawn Marion in the corner. Shawn had a "one game-500k" bandage on his knee. In another corner he saw Lamar Odom, who had a "two game-65 swps" bandage on his hand. Both motioned to the Camper to join them. In a moment of indecision the Camper decided to walk up to the counter. The tavern proprietor, the striking image of the Guru, sauntered up to him and, in a hushed tone, said: "You can't get through the day without at least one good rationalization". The Camper lowered his head and cried. | |||||
| 12 | ... ID: 261512221 Sat, Feb 23, 2002, 02:29 | BUTT | |||||
| 13 | Addicted@hotel ID: 1311512919 Sat, Feb 23, 2002, 06:23 |
RE: post #10 Jan 2001 - Addicted WWR 1546 2001 FS Finish 209 2001 MS Finish 35 and the coveted water bottle and Smallworld cap!!! As of Today: Addicted WWR #71 AddictedMKG WWR #89 Thanks Guru, another Gurupatron contribution will be in the mail soon. Also I would like to thank from last year: The Israelian Guru and Team Doctor for taking in a newbie and showing him the ropes. Ender - For his incitefull strategy posts. allhair allstars - for posting the Gurupie standings RSF - For providing excellent Spreadsheet tools to assist a Gurupie All the Gurupies for putting up with a parody posting Gurupie who was preaching to the choir and sometimes hit a few notes off-key. And not posting "This has nothing to do with fantasy basketball, go away". This year: The Rockerfellerskank division for providing additional incentive to score more points. The Virtual ACC Division - For providing a place to share ACC discussion and competition. Special thanks goes to DR. Stars, Tortfeasor, and THK for team sitting when I didn't have Internet access. To some of the Gurupies who no longer post that often. Please add your input to the site. If someone posts something that you don't want to read skip it and ignore them (You ignored me and look what you created!!!). To Ender, rockerfellerskank, and others continue to welcome newbies and treat them with kid gloves for a while. Provide the insight that you have so they will enjoy this game as much as you do. To the newbies, if someone posts a rant about your posts, don't take it personal. Most of the Gurupies are here to help, hang in there and try not to enter the Tradeless Tavern. Sounds like an acceptance speech doesn't it? | |||||
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