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Subject: Nominate yourself here for Art Jr.
Posted by: J K Polk, Art Jr.
- [32012715] Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 11:33
I had originally intended to start this thread yesterday, but in true Art Jr. fashion, I forgot.
Anyway, if you'd like to be eligible to become the next Art Jr. of the basketball boards, please use this thread to tell us your most horrifying tales of personal stupidity. Remember, you cannot nominate someone else, you can only nominate yourself. And also remember that your self-deprecation does NOT have to focus only on fantasy basketball. Real-life screwups work for us, too.
I will close nominations later tonight and start a voting thread. The Art Jr. has few true powers, but one of them is to narrow down the self-nominations into a reasonable list for voting, so I'll be choosing only the best stories to put up for popular vote.
That's it. The floor is open for nominations. |
| 1 | J K Polk, Art Jr.
ID: 32012715
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 11:36
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Wait a second, today is Wednesday ...
Oy.
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| 2 | Promo at home
Donor
ID: 529172713
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 11:39
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Well, this is from last year but perhaps that counts.
Anyhow, last year I decided to have 2 SW hoops teams, a team starting on day 1, and a team I drafted the day after the season started (to see pricemovers, etc).
However when drafting that second team I failed to comprehend that trades worked just like they normally did, so when you sold someone it was considered a trade (even though I hadn't drafted a full roster).
Thus when I was getting close to being done I had one slot to fill and 400,000 to fill it - and no trades! Thus I would be invalid all week! Needless to say I took that as a sign from the SW gods and decided to just stick with the regularly drafted team I had.
-Promo-
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| 3 | smallwhirled
Donor
ID: 119491116
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 12:02
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An all-around candidate:
I'm a moron who can't read, posts 19 and 23.
Diehard fan!
Real life screw-up....or is it just being screwed-up?
Proud to be a 'nole....
If that's not all-around, then I don't know what
is?
;)
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| 4 | Mattinglyinthehall
ID: 1832399
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 12:16
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Well, since the award does not necessesarilary focus on fantasy basketball, I'm sure there are scores of gurupies that feel my moniker alone is worthy of this esteemed prize. I nominate myself because I've never won anything related to fantasy sports other than my own crappy division.
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| 5 | Mark L
Leader
ID: 4444938
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 13:33
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I nominate myself because (a) all of my teams in Ultimate Hoops suck; (b) on one of those teams, I started the year with Felton Spencer and held him for more than a week; and (c) even my beloved Bucks have begun sucking, and Art Jr. status would be the crown of glory topping off all of the above-referenced suckiness and stupidity.
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| 6 | soggybottomboys
ID: 101027280
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 13:38
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I haven't made any serious bonehead moves lately but I am still a Detroit Lions fan, AND have watched every one of their games, I guess that makes me the Art Jr. of football fans!
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| 7 | soggybottomboys
ID: 101027280
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 13:43
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I think we have an early leader in Mark L, its bad enough to EVER have Felton Spencer, but for an ENTIRE WEEK?!?! ROFLMAO
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| 8 | Blooki
ID: 359321514
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 13:46
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Last season, I bought Bob Sura and sold him the very next day. Then later on in the week, I did the same thing with Ron Mercer. Both were injury-related, but it sure made me feel pretty foolish.
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| 9 | gumby
ID: 559211110
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 13:55
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Mark L is the Art Glover of the Week.
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| 10 | Tortfeasor
Donor
ID: 469202110
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 14:11
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I don't know if I'd call the Ar Jr. award a "crown of glory", but it would certainly seem consistent with drafting and holding Felton Spencer.
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| 11 | gumby
ID: 559211110
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 14:20
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knowing Mark L as I do, it is properly categorized as a crown of glory.
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| 12 | EdS
Leader
ID: 455502710
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 14:59
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On my Ultimate hoops team
drafted Hughes, Larry traded 11/2
drafted Bender, Jonathan traded 11/3
drafted Person, Wesley traded 11/14
On my Fantasy football re-draft team
drafted Testaverde, Vinny and Johnson, Brad
as my two QB's.
All of the analsys that I put in pre-season for both teams was a complete waste of time. Next year I will pick names from a hat.
EdS
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| 13 | Promo at home
Donor
ID: 529172713
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 15:44
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If this award is weekly, perhaps we need to limit the criteria to what you did the week before. Art, I mean Mark, L may have won the lifetime award already, but if we go with historical info people could run out of stuff soon.
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| 14 | allhair allstars
Sustainer
ID: 52112514
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 16:37
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I must admit I'm quite tempted to nominate Mr. Pres for a second term just for coming up with the ridiculous idea in the first place. Not fully knowing the guidelines as they pertain to term limitations, however, I'm willing to throw my hat into the ring (even if it's only as a running mate to Mr. Pres)...
My qualifications:
1) I drafted Mark L on my GMD team (see post #5 above).
2) Over the course of less than 3 weeks I've gone from first place to dead last place in my GMD division.
3) I drafted myself.
4) Art is my first name, so the title would fit like a glove.
5) Jr. isn't my last name, but the title would still fit, if only like a mitten.
6) I actually held Art Glover on one team until this morning!
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| 15 | Rand
ID: 364152215
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 17:01
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allhair, I would think #6 is reason enough to give
you the award. The only person that may beat you
would be someone who actually still has Art in
their line-up:)
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| 16 | Roar
Donor
ID: 412141319
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 18:06
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I don't currently own Art, but I am seriously considering him. After the first week, I was #1 WWR in TSN Free Hoops. Since then, EVERY player that I have picked up has gotten injured. I have fallen to #11,112 WWR so far. And, like soggybottomboys, I am also a Detroit Lions Fan.
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| 17 | Tortfeasor
Donor
ID: 469202110
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 18:15
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Hey Roar-
Your story is tragic, somewhat like the Milli Vanilli story. ;)
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| 18 | Roar
Donor
ID: 412141319
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 18:20
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I didn't think it was THAT bad, Tortfeasor. :)
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| 19 | Tortfeasor
Donor
ID: 469202110
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 18:43
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Your fall was tragic, anyway...
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| 20 | SillySpheres
ID: 551031723
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 18:49
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Being new to fantasy sports, I put my lineup together starting at 4:55 when then roster freeze was at 5. My first roster included 2 guys (Webber and Big Z) who wouldnt play for another month.
After burning my trades for the whole week in the next 15 mins correcting some mistakes, I was still left with Jumaine Jones and Robert Traylor (who i ended up keeping for 2 weeks). Luckily I have since been able to recover.
And yes, Art Glover has even spent sometime on my team.
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| 21 | joe suspect
Donor
ID: 441143311
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 20:08
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1) My opening roster speaks for itself:
Richardson, Quentin G 2,560,000 -
Hardaway, Anfernee G 5,900,000 -
Daniels, Antonio G 4,330,000 -
Strickland, Rod G 4,120,000 -
Kukoc, Toni F - 4,790,000
Van Horn, Keith F 6,000,000 -
Outlaw, Bo F 5,850,000 -
Coleman, Derrick F 3,000,000 -
O'Neal, Jermaine C 7,770,000 -
Olajuwon, Hakeem C 5,530,000 -
Incorrect assumptions, no regard to schedule...you name it, I've got it. I also was wise enough to include the Strickland/Outlaw/Coleman trio on all of my teams.
At least Coleman worked out.
I'm waiting for someone to list a non-bball event for nomination. I have one...but I think I'll wait. This is a weekly contest right?
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| 22 | Pilewort
Donor
ID: 369101914
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 20:35
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have been running the commissary at the local jail. The inmates fill out orders, the bagger bags the order. For each module (akin to a cellblock) you put all bags on a cart with the order sheet attached, then take the cart up the elevator to the various modules for delivery.
Then you make the inmates stand in a line and come to a table one by one, so they can received their order and verify its contents.
Each inmate has to put his or her property number on the order sheet, or they don't get anything. Property numers are how we know who to charge for what purchases. Property numbers are a necessity when you have upwards of 800 inmates.
So I've got a line of about 45 inmates waiting to check their commissary. I get through about 39 of them with no problem.
Next comes an inmate who didn't put his property number on the order sheet. That's a no-no: No property number, no commissary.
He starts ranting and raving, then falls to the carpet in a seziure.
The module sergeant immediately calls medical for a nurse. Meanwhile I'm thinking, "When the nurse gets here she'll send the inmates back to their cells, and I'll have to make a 2nd trip to the floor; and I'm already behind schedule."
You can probably guess what happens. Before I can even reflect upon human dignity, I have the remaining inmates literally stepping over this guy having a seziure so they can verify their commissary.
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| 24 | Y2JS
ID: 48312723
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 21:57
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I traded GP last night, need i say more?
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| 25 | rockafellerskank
Donor
ID: 359283123
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 21:58
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I got to do the FIRST Fan Voice of the season .... and write a blurb in The Sporting News national magazine spouting off about who were the best studs to buy...... then TSN used it to spam a couple 100,000's potential owners with my team name plastered all over the place.......
...then...I promptly ran 3 teams into the ground with an average WWR of 1,000 and roster value of $52.5M.
rfs ;(
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| 26 | Moray Striker
ID: 561462423
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 22:12
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My best team in the free game (wwr114) is called "Seattle will win the west". At 8 games out already I am already a loser despite how I fare fantsywise. Did I mention I had Sam Cassell over the last two weeks?
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| 27 | Tortfeasor
Donor
ID: 469202110
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 22:44
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Pilewort-
Huh?
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| 28 | Mike D
Donor
ID: 441149419
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 22:45
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I know I'm getting ahead of myself (in Art Jr. fashion), but I agree with allhair that it is indeed tempting to nominate Mr. Pres. to be the 1st Two Time, consecutive Art Jr. in history. When he flamed himself for being a day late, then discovered he was right on time......well, Art would be proud.
However, allhair seems to be a leading candidate in my book. How can you top someone that drafted himself in the GMD?
PS: Tortfeasor, did you really draft Felton Spencer??? ;)
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| 29 | Ender
ID: 13443221
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 22:53
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It was Mark L that drafted Spencer.
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| 30 | Mike D
Donor
ID: 441149419
Wed, Dec 05, 2001, 23:07
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Maybe I should nominate myself for not being able to read threads, eh Ender? Mark L, did you really..... ;)
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| 31 | Tortfeasor
Donor
ID: 469202110
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 00:04
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That was pretty Art Jr.-esque, Mike D.
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| 32 | Mark L
Leader
ID: 4444938
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 10:23
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Mike D - as the great Jon McGlocklin would say about my selection, "He sure did."
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| 33 | Mike D
Donor
ID: 19105287
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 10:24
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Mark L, congrats, you earned my vote, via a coin flip over AA. ;)
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