| 0 |
Subject: Vote for your new Art Jr.
Posted by: J K Polk, Art Jr.
- [32012715] Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 05:38
I think it was Spiderman who once said, "With great power comes great responsibility." He was not talking about the Art Jr. award. However, you can say this about wearing the Art Jr. crown: With a few small, lame powers come a couple of responsibilities. Like starting the voting thread.
First of all, let's delineate what the Art Jr. award is all about. Future award winners, feel free to adapt this as necessary.
Qualifications
This is easy. You must have done something dumb. Recently. And you must have enough good humor to post about it in the Art Jr. self-nomination thread.
Responsibilities
You must proudly affix the "Art Jr." suffix to your message board handle. You must do your best to bring levity to the boards, entertaining where you can. You must start the Wednesday nomination thread, the Thursday voting thread, and a Friday thread to pass the Art Jr. torch. And you must stoically bear the burden of dumb moves by anyone not strong enough to accept their weakness and walk in the glorious path of Art. Therefore, any gurupie may absolve themselves of their own stupidity by blaming you.
Powers
Oh yeah, the good stuff. As Art Jr., you are one part Chris Farley and one part Siddhartha. One part rumblin' stumblin' bumblin', and one part zen master. You have become one with your mistakes, and they empower you. (And in my case, you are also one part Pierce Brosnan, who apparently is the sexiest man alive. According to People magazine. But that's me.) Anyway, this combination qualifies you to point out potential stupidity when you see it, hopefully to keep it from bearing its dangerous fruit. If you come across someone staring into the abyss of asininity, a simple, "You know, that's what Art Jr. would do," should suffice. If however, you are confronted with a truly stunning display of lameness, you are authorized to take drastic action. Threatening to label someone with the dreaded "Shakira Jr." title might work, but please use your own creativity. Beyond that, every Art Jr. also has the power of flight (it comes in handy more than you'd think), the power to predict nights when Adrian Griffin will outscore Tmac, and the power to narrow down the list of Art Jr. self-nominations to a manageable number for the voting thread. That's it. Unless you feel like giving yourself a new set of powers. These worked fine for me, but we all have our own needs. Above all, however, please use your Art Jr. powers for good, not evil.
----------------------------------------------
And now for the voting. These candidates are all pulled from yesterday's thread, but rest assured that Yo's post from the first Art Jr. thread is not forgotten. He has entered the Art Jr. pantheon with a Lifetime Achievement Award for being confronted with a choice between watching basketball and having sex, and making the wrong call.
This week's nominees, in no particular order, are:
Mattinglyinthehall, for actually arguing that Don Mattingly belongs in the Hall.
Roar, for falling from #1 in free hoops to #11,112 by having every player he picked up get injured. His tragic story puts him well on the way to a fine "Behind the Music."
Mark L, for drafting Felton Spencer. And holding him more than a week. Think about that, and then let it roll off your tongue: Fel-ton Spen-cer. My God, man.
allhair allstars, for so many things, but most importantly for holding onto the award's inspiration, Art Glover, until yesterday.
SillySpheres, for drafting both CWebb and Zydrunas, then having to burn all his trades in the first 15 minutes of the season.
rockafellerskank, for getting to write TSN's first "Fan Voice" of the season, not mentioning Art Glover in it, and getting used to help spam the rest of us who would have signed up for the game anyway.
I would have nominated Pilewort as well, but I must admit to being a bit frightened of that story. Promo's blunder was classic, but happened a bit too long ago. Smallwhirled was also strong, but his candidacy was broad-based rather than focused on one spectacularly bad decision. If only he could have worked up another No. 2 thread .... And Mike D would have been a solid candidate, but he forgot to mention that he has, um, special feelings about how good Andrei Kirilenko looks on the court. And that he tried to hide it.
So there you go. Six candidates, all worthy in their own way. Whoever wins, of course, can pull the "losing" candidates into next week's voting thread, so don't worry about slighting someone with your vote. You can slight someone else next week. Let the voting commence. |
| 1 | J K Polk, Art Jr.
ID: 32012715
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 05:46
|
My vote definitely goes to Mark L. Although I'm not sure the Art Jr. crown is sufficient recognition for someone who poised his mouse over the "buy" link for Felton Spencer and thought, "You know, he could really help my team!"
|
| 2 | DR Stars
ID: 162592010
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 07:32
|
I'll go with Roar, just to see the Handle:
Roar, Art Jr.
|
| 3 | TaRhEElKiD
ID: 42109719
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 08:05
|
Just for the sake of the first "ART Jr." award; I chose allhair because it has to do with the imfamous "Art" himself and he held him til yesterday! That is unbelievable!
|
| 4 | culdeus
Donor
ID: 51014269
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 08:55
|
Mark L in a landslide.
|
| 5 | SweetGP20
ID: 2010492810
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 09:28
|
AA got my vote!
I can't believe he waited to move Glover until this morning--BRILLIANT MOVE: I still have Art on my B team =(
|
| 6 | KnicksFan
Donor
ID: 57832250
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 09:34
|
Pat Buchanan
|
| 7 | joe suspect
Donor
ID: 441143311
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 09:41
|
Mark L gets my vote. Felton, even if he had any game, sounds like a synthetic fabric.
Also, if TheWanderer is willing to send in a photo, shouldn't we fashion some sort of mock award? One half Dion Glover, the other half TheWanderer.
|
| 8 | Ender
ID: 52438315
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 10:14
|
Felt is synthetic?!?! Oh man!! I knew that Felt Farm I purchased in Malaysia as an investment was too good to be true :(
|
| 9 | joe suspect
Donor
ID: 441143311
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 10:36
|
felt is natural, felton is synthetic...like rayon, etc..
explaining the joke...a sure sign of comedic death. ;-)
|
| 10 | Mike D
Donor
ID: 19105287
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 10:45
|
"For drafting Felton Spencer. And holding him more than a week. Think about that, and then let it roll off your tongue: Fel-ton Spen-cer. My God, man."
Mark L, congrats, you earned my vote, via a coin flip over AA.
Mr. Pres, congrats on completing (nearly) a truly historic reign as Art Jr. May your rumblin' stumblin' bumbin' zen master days continue on.
|
| 11 | gumby
ID: 559211110
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 10:50
|
Mark L. "No Brainer."
|
| 12 | Great One
ID: 491025139
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 10:51
|
I think the shear longevity of my You Migt (yeah and it was spelled wrong) Be a Gurupie If.. thread and how ridiculous the fact that I was doing the same thing a year later - qualifies me for a special Lifetime Achievement Award.
|
| 13 | Great One
ID: 491025139
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 10:56
|
link
do you guys remember this game from last year?
Try playing it from the point of view of Felton Spencer - It will think you are Kramer...
Do live in New York? Y
Are you kind of wacky and aloof? Y
Do you not really work? Y
|
| 14 | Promo
Donor
ID: 33105116
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 11:03
|
Art, I mean Mark, L
|
| 15 | Tortfeasor
Donor
ID: 469202110
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 12:52
|
Mark L. definitely. Drafting Felton Spencer was really pretty stupid. The Art Jr. award was intended to recognize those gurupies that have the courage and grace to admit their wrongdoings and accept the consequences openly. If this isn't it, I don't know what is.
|
| 16 | biliruben
Sustainer
ID: 231045110
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 12:52
|
RFS. That kind of public humiliation deserves an award.
|
| 17 | soggybottomboys
ID: 101027280
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 13:29
|
I was temped to go along with DR and vote for roar just for the humor of seeing the handle: roar, art jr. for the next week but I have decided to go with my gut, which is churning over the name Felton. Think about that, just the word Felton gives me a stomach ache. My vote is for Mark L, and I hope that he goes by his new handle with pride: Mark Lart Jr.
|
| 18 | Nomad
ID: 121031010
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 13:41
|
Did I have something to do with this award?
I mistakingly called Dion, Art Glover way back when. It was after a long weekend in Vegas, the weekend of the meteor showers. I spent a good part of Saturday morning (1am - 5am) out in the middle of the dessert drinking, puffing and swollowing little yellow pills with alligators on them, all to the sounds of Pink Floyd blasting from our RV and the sights of Star Wars above in the clear dessert sky. This behavor is unusual for me, at least since college, but I was in the perfect place to view the showers, which only happen every 100 years or so. Anyway, let's just say I lost a lot of brain cells. It was then Sunday night after when I posted my goof in names thread. That and I was dumb enough to buy Dion "Art" Glover in first place. Assuming that's where this award stems from, hail to the chief!
|
| 19 | rockafellerskank
Donor
ID: 23111069
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 13:43
|
Nomad: "yes"
rfs
|
| 20 | Mark L
Leader
ID: 4444938
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 14:02
|
This is a very difficult choice.
On one hand, I am a bonehead. (See Felton Spencer.)
On the other, Allhair voluntarily drafted me for his GMD squad, and so far as I know did so without being under the influence of anything. That's pretty boneheaded.
But I win. I vote for myself.
|
| 21 | smallwhirled
Donor
ID: 119491116
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 16:35
|
rfs....'nuff said.
;)
|
| 22 | Ender
ID: 52438315
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 16:37
|
I'd have to say Allhair because not only did he draft Mark L, but he STILL has him! ;)
|
| 23 | Twarpy
Leader
ID: 3074280
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 17:02
|
Ender look what place AA would be on our team if we didn't have Mark L;)
|
| 24 | Addicted
Sustainer
ID: 610441810
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 20:05
|
rfs for me.
I was so impressed by his knowledge of basketball that I joined his division.
Holding our own at 15th in the world...
|
| 25 | rockafellerskank
Donor
ID: 359283123
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 20:13
|
Addicted-
That was my point. You know, I got e-mails from all over the world and calls from long lost friends that read the Sporting News over that article (and spam). Everyone thinking that my picks were golden or something. Not.
It was quite embarrasing (and still is) to see a WWR hovering around 1,000. Everytime I answered a question, I seemed to take the opposite approach. I think the Belly is voting to revoke my membership!
I finally stopped answering questions and referred people here ro rotguro.com. I think that's how THK among others arrived.
rfs
|
| 26 | smallwhirled
Donor
ID: 119491116
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 20:14
|
That's hilarious!
LMAO, rfs
|
| 27 | J K Polk, Art Jr.
ID: 4455731
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 20:48
|
lol, is rotguro.com some sort of super-secret strategy site? :) Also have to mention that I've been humming a strange version of George Michael's "I Want Your Sex" all day after reading post #9 ... "Felton is natural, Felton is goo-od, not everybody loves him, but everybody should."
Here's a quick tally. Through post 26, the standings are:
Mark L - 9
allhair - 3
rfs - 3
roar - 1
Pat Buchanan - 1
Mattinglyinthehall - 0, which coincidentally is the likelihood of his handle coming true :)
SillySpheres - 0
|
| 28 | Roar
Donor
ID: 412141319
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 22:50
|
I'm truly honored just to have garnered as many votes as Pat Buchanan.
|
| 29 | Mr. Nice Guy
ID: 421124113
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 23:09
|
I vote for mark l. Felton Spencer? The guy averages like 2 minutes a game!!
|
| 30 | louky
Sustainer
ID: 527283021
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 23:17
|
I have to go with Mark L as well, after watching that Spencer Felton kid(thats what Joe B Hall refered to him as) for 4 years at Louiville, anyone that would pick him up to play against actual NBA players, AND hold him for a week is a lock for the Art Jr award.
|
| 31 | Veracity
ID: 2842102
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 23:18
|
Mark L.
I like RFS's story, but Mark's is the kind of mistake someone makes every week _ and we're gonna need a new Art Jr. every week.
|
| 32 | Ender
ID: 13443221
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 23:25
|
OK, I have to change my vote now.
I don't know whether to vote for rfs misspelling "RotoGuru": "rotguru"
Or do I vote for Veracity for claiming that a DRAFT mistake could happen every week?
Ah well, I still vote for Allhair.
|
| 33 | rockafellerskank
Donor
ID: 359283123
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 23:29
|
Ender-
Please be accurate.
I misspeleld it (post #25): "rotguro.com" I missed 2 letters, not just 1!
Once upon a time, I even typo'd my own signature from 'rfs' to 'rsf' (which only further confused me and RecycledSpinalFluid).. just ask Froggery!
rfs
|
| 34 | Ender
ID: 13443221
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 23:31
|
That's what I get. I typoed a typo. I should have cut and pasted :)
|
| 35 | Veracity
ID: 2842102
Thu, Dec 06, 2001, 23:53
|
I was wondering when I cast my vote if someone might think l was only talking DRAFT mistakes. But then I thought, nah, it's clear enough. Oh well, for Ender's sake, here it is all parsed out: anyone can make a make a dumb pick-up any week.
|
| 36 | Ender
ID: 13443221
Fri, Dec 07, 2001, 00:04
|
Always there to lend a hand and take things as literally as possible :)
|
| 37 | Dirt
ID: 141029141
Fri, Dec 07, 2001, 00:39
|
Sneak peak at next week. Sweet GP says:
"They mentioned some guy named Alcinder or something who's supposed to be awesome. How come I never heard of him?" (and he was serious)
Um, you never heard of him because you're a future Art Jr.
This week Mark gets it hands down. Felton Spencer may actually be the worst player in the NBA.
|
| 38 | Veracity
ID: 2842102
Fri, Dec 07, 2001, 00:40
|
LOL
|
| 39 | Great One
ID: 491025139
Fri, Dec 07, 2001, 00:45
|
We should make Mark change his name to Felton Spencer or Mark Felton or Mark Likes Spencer...
and Sweet GP should be Sweet Alcindor as punishment for not knowing well... anything.
|
| Rate this thread: | If you wish, you may rate this thread on scale of 1-5. Ratings should indicate how valuable or interesting you believe this thread would be to other users of this forum. A '5' means that this thread is a 'must read'. A '1' means that this is a complete waste of time. If you have previously rated this thread, rating it again will delete your previous rating. If you do not want to rate this thread, but want to see how others have rated it, then click the button without entering a rating, or else click here. |
|
|
|
Post a reply to this message: (But first, how about checking out this sponsor?)
|
|