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Subject: 10 ways LeBron has changed my life.
Posted by: KnicksFan
- Donor [30815418] Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 00:54
10. I have legally changed my name to LeBron.
9. My friends have to call me "King".
8. I no longer watch any NBA game unless LeBron is playing because I would become too disappointed with the lack of talent in the rest of the league.
7. I went to my college's registrar to see if I could have all 91 of my credits removed from my record so I could try to jump from high school to the NBA.
6. I now refer to October 29th as The New Christmas.
5. Instead of money, I give homeless people LeBron James' boxscore from the newspaper.
4. Since I can't afford a real one, I made a wooden Hummer like the kid in that commercial and I made up license plates that say "LBRN23".
3. I bought an old Chrysler LeBaron and removed the A.
2. I got a fake ID that says I was born on Dec. 30, 1984.
1. I spontaneously reach orgasm whenever LeBron scores a bucket.
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| 1 | Donkey Hunter
Sustainer
ID: 21940318
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 00:59
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Let me be the first to greet you by recommending a good therapist. Woah Nally.
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| 2 | T-Mac
ID: 289232719
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 01:00
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ha ha, ha ha, ha ha
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| 3 | azdbacker
Donor
ID: 359442921
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 01:11
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lol
Saw his B-Day on there. Can't believe he's 10 years younger than me.
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| 4 | Razor
Donor
ID: 190612
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 03:50
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Lebron held a press conference after the game with Ricky Davis and Carlos Boozer. Upon his arrival to the presser, he James chloroforms Davis and Boozer and spends the next two hours of the press conference slowly eating them. The media loved it.
Most people don't know this, but Lebron James has children. This one time, he was banging a hooker and wouldn't ya know it, his semen shoots straight through her tailbone, up through the ceiling and into the sky where it hit a plane! Nine months later, every woman on that plane had Lebron's children! When they tried to get child support...he paid it every month.
To Bill Brasky, I mean, to Lebron James!
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| 6 | clach
ID: 4112529
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 03:53
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I can't traslate it but the italian nickname LeSboron looks quite appropriate!
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| 7 | TwoPumps
ID: 7952312
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 05:27
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RAZOR!!!!!!!!!...That Bill Brasky...oh man!...I thought I was the only person who loved that skit...god seeing that name brought back memories
"He was 8 feet tall 2 TONS!"
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| 8 | Razor
Donor
ID: 190612
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 14:16
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Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it would've happened sometime
Lebron would eat a homeless person if you dared him.
Did I ever tell you about the time Lebron James tied me to a chair and made me watch him have sex with my wife?......I hated Lebron James, but I respected him.
Once, I saw Lebron James pistol-whip his own mother! I asked him why he did it, and he shot me!
Did I ever tell you about the time ol' Lebron took me palomino horseback riding without the horses? Anyways, Lebron throws a saddle on my back and proceeds to ride me around Wyoming for three days. Wouldn't you know, that every day my stamina increases and I grow abnormally leg muscles. Lebron, seeing the size of my legs, enters me in the Kentucky Derby under the name, Turkish Delight, halfway around the track I break my ankle....just when they were about to shoot me, a man in the audience chimes in and says, "Hey, don't shoot him. That's a human not a horse!!"
Lebron and John Wilkes Booth went shot-for-shot with moonshine. The loser had to kill President Lincoln and well...the rest is history.
Lebron was once on the show Let's Make A Deal. Well long story short, Lebron picks the wrong door and won an old washer and dryer set. The crowd started to laugh at him until he ran on stage, dropped his pants and had sex with both appliances. It was so touching, it made Wink cry.
More Lebronisms
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| 9 | TaRhEElKiD
ID: 42109719
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 19:39
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20 months older than me
7 inches on me
about 85 pounds on me
1 Hummer more than me
25 pts, 6 boards and 9 assists more than me in the NBA
100+ million than me
Wierd to think about...
THK
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| 10 | JerryLewis
ID: 319343018
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 19:42
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So you're saying that you are a loser and he's not?
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| 11 | JerryLewis
ID: 319343018
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 19:43
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BTW, funny as hell KnicksFan.
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| 14 | Farn
Sustainer
ID: 7822711
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 19:48
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greer, please delete your post.
thank you.
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| 15 | TaRhEElKiD
ID: 42109719
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 20:20
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Jerry Lewis-
Are you 6'8 240?
Do you have 100+ million?
Do you have those stats in the NBA?
Do you have a Hummer like that?
So, to answer your question, yes. I am a loser, as are you. ;-) Although you have had more time to be successful than I have!
THK
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| 16 | TB
Leader
ID: 31811922
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 21:56
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The other day LeBron showed me this list he has of people he is going to kill. I commended him on his damn fine handwriting, and then the sweet bastard moved me down a few places. Nicest man I ever met.
Lebron has the last few drops of Christ's blood. He keeps them in an old visine dropper and offers anyone with sore eyes to use it. He laughs hysterically when they scream from the pain of getting blood in their eye. He must have gotten me 5 or 6 times with that one already.
Lebron was born 8 1/2 months premature. Even then he was strong enough to tear his way out of the womb with his bare, underdeveloped hands. Then he circumsized himself with hedge clippers. No one knows to this day what they were doing in a delivery room.
I went to grade school with Lebron. He let me watch him play doctor with a girl behind the bleachers once. He gave her an apendectomy and removed a malignant tumor from her kidney. And damn-it-all if he didn't sew her up to make the stitches match his signature. She survived a good 8 weeks after the surgery.
Lebron used to be a super hero, but he never wore a cape. He considers them to be queerish. At least that's what he told me when he was raping my uncle.
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| 17 | TaRhEElKiD
ID: 42109719
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 22:13
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LOL TB!
THK
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| 18 | TB
Leader
ID: 31811922
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 22:59
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Just funny ones I have found from other sites, THK. This is still my favorite one:
One time I was with Lebron in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Lebron goes up to the deer and says, "I'm Lebron James. SAY IT!" Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, "Lebron James"... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer.
The horseback riding one that Razor posted is pretty funny too.
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| 19 | TB
Leader
ID: 31811922
Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 23:05
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Back in Nam we were fighting some VC in the jungle. When it was over Lebron fired a shot in the air in celebration. Not only did it bring down 4 of our aircraft at once but it came down and hit our CO right in the head. Lebron said "We'll I guess I'm in charge now. Time for some shore leave boys!" And then he had sex with his canteen! TWICE!
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