Forum: base
Page 16776
Subject: Top 10 things about pitching a perfect game

  Posted by: Guru - [330592710] Fri, May 21, 2004, 10:15
This is from Letterman's show a couple nights ago. Some are hilarious.

Late Show Top Ten Cool Things About Pitching A Perfect Game


10. "After this, I can go 0-15 for the year and honestly not give a crap"

9. "My pre-game dinner at Denny's tonight? On the house!"

8. "Shows everyone that even though I'm 40, I can still...I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought"

7. "Cool to get congratulatory call from the President, even though he kept calling me "Larry"

6. "Can walk up to guys who've thrown no-hitters and whisper, "Loser"

5. "All the pine tar I can eat!"

4. "Your catcher hugs you and it feels kinda...nice"

3. "Maybe people will finally forget about the time I killed that bird"

2. "It's just one more thing about me that's perfect, am I right, ladies?"

1. "George Steinbrenner just offered me a billion dollars to sign with the yankees"
 
1Mike D
      Sustainer
      ID: 41831612
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 10:18 		ROFL! # 8 is my favorite.
 
2Deadeyes
      ID: 51137210
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 10:30 		are you seroius? #8 is not funny at all. same old old joke. it's not original.
 
3Mike D
      Sustainer
      ID: 41831612
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 10:32 		Yeah, you're right, my bad, I didn't really think it was funny now that you explained that to me.
 
4Deadeyes
      ID: 51137210
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 10:34 		the joke with steinbrenner is OLD TOO and so is the president joke too. The rest are average.
 
5darkside
      Dude
      ID: 3590317
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 10:36 		Does anyone know if he really eats at Denny's before a game? When I saw that I though it was ridiculous for a huge baseball star to eat at Denny's before he pitches, but figure there are probably weirder superstitions.
 
6Deadeyes
      ID: 51137210
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 10:38 		I am not sure. But the writers are seriously kind of weak. I really doubt Schilling eats at Denny's before a game. That's ridiculous. People would follow him and stuff. Never going to happen.

I could write a top 10 better than that.
 
7J
      Leader
      ID: 49346417
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 10:39 		get to it then.
 
8J
      Leader
      ID: 49346417
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 10:39 		#2 was really funny when he did it live on the show.
 
9Deadeyes
      ID: 51137210
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 10:41 		that could be funny if randy johnson said that because he is pretty fugly. Yes i could do a lot better.
 
10j o s h
      ID: 164572017
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 11:04 		roflmao at all of em
 
11Deadeyes
      ID: 51137210
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 11:11 		wow americans have no sense of humor. You call that humor? i don't get it. Nothing spectacular about it.
 
12Mattinglyinthehall
      Leader
      ID: 1629107
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 11:17 		Put up or shut up, Deadeyes.
 
13Tree
      Donor
      ID: 599393013
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 11:34 		Deadeyes - your head is the exact thing God had in mind when someone told him he needed to design a "target for a Randy Johnson fastball..."
 
14J
      Leader
      ID: 49346417
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 11:46 		too bad that bird got in the way, that one was meant for deadeyes
 
15j o s h
      ID: 164572017
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 11:46 		let me explain #'s 2-4-6 and 9 roflmo what an idiot. Now, as far as Letterman's list, I thought they were all pretty funny too esp #8. just the way he said it:)
 
16PermDude
      ID: 2343587
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 11:50 		Funny list.

Deadeyes = "message board virus"
 
17Mike D
      Sustainer
      ID: 41831612
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 11:52 		(please
ignore
the
trolls)
 
18blue hen
      ID: 372102211
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 11:52 		#6.
 
19R9
      Leader
      ID: 2624472
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 12:09 		Yeah, #6 here too. Good list. Letterman's humor is kind of hit or miss I guess, but I prefer him over Leno.
 
20Matt G
      ID: 24212268
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 12:37 		Letterman is such dry humor, I love it...

Great List Guru, thanks for posting it as I missed that show.
 
21KrazyKoalaBears
      Leader
      ID: 517553018
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 13:10 		10, 8, 6, and 1 had me laughing the most. Even Yankees have to get a laugh out of #1. :)
 
22gibby88
      ID: 23811216
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 13:39 		#6 is classic!
 
23Ref
      Donor
      ID: 539581218
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 13:51 		Deadeyes, did someone break that wood bat over your head or something, is that why you're looking for another one? Maybe yourwit is beyond us all, but I thought those were pretty funny. #6 was pretty funny too.
 
24Tree
      Donor
      ID: 599393013
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 13:57 		Actually, i found Deadeyes #6 to be nearly as funny as Letterman's #6, since Deadeyes clearly doesn't even have the correct pitcher mentioned.
 
25Deadeyes
      ID: 534482022
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 17:04 		i did that on purpose and you got it. wow, i didn't know people in here had a brain. nice work fellas.
 
26PermDude
      ID: 2343587
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 17:09 		Deadeyes = Pee Wee Herman
 
27StLCards
      Leader
      ID: 31010716
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 17:10 		I like #2. It becomes so much better since RJ himself read them.
 
28Wilmer McLean
      ID: 75249
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 17:17 		I like #6 the best.

baseball humor page - has links to a bunch of Letterman Top Ten Lists about baseball

Top Ten - Signs the pressure is getting to you during a perfect game

 
29azdbacker
      ID: 424421712
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 17:29 		TOP TEN
Things You Don't Want To Hear From a Fenway Park Hot Dog Vendor

7. Try my Buckner Special - one that was between my legs.

1. Remember: 1 if by salmonella, 2 if by trichinosis.

TOP TEN
Fidel Castro Baseball Jeers

7. "Years of indoor plumbing have made you Americans soft and weak."

3. "I'm not paying you $6 a year to strike out."

lmao - Thanks, Wilmer.
 
30holt
      ID: 5444876
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 21:34 		deadeyes was considered a troll on the TSN boards last season, and that's saying something.
 
31J
      Leader
      ID: 49346417
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 21:46 		i thought he was considered PGunn last season?
 
32Deadeyes
      ID: 6482120
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 22:03 		No. I am not pgunn or whoever he is. Was he cool? What happened to him?
 
33Ender
      ID: 314241420
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 22:13 		JerryLewis was PGunn last year.
 
34holt
      ID: 5444876
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 22:18 		that's an insult to j.lewis.
jerry lewis was over-bearing but at least he had some sports knowledge and made a good point every now and then.
 
35Ender
      ID: 314241420
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 22:24 		Whatever, people accused him of being PGunn all the time. Someone even referred to him as PGunn constantly.
 
36KrazyKoalaBears
      Leader
      ID: 517553018
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 22:29 		JerryLewis was PGunn. He signed up for my TSN-Style Yahoo football league last year as "JerryLewis", but his Yahoo username had PGunn in it (with some numbers and such). Surely not a coincidence.
 
37Deadeyes
      ID: 6482120
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 22:39 		supposedly i got rid of jerry lewis. Someone said i replaced him. Poor guy.
 
38holt
      ID: 5444876
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 22:41 		I meant that comparing j-lewis to deadeyes was an insult. pgunn and j-lewis are one and the same of course.
 
39Deadeyes
      ID: 6482120
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 22:42 		oh okay good. I was confused. Jerry Lewis. No one ever liked that guy. I am sports rock star.
 
40F. Deadeyes
      ID: 194392122
      Fri, May 21, 2004, 23:39 		Wouldn't surprise me in the least if Deadeyes were PGunn aka JerryLewis. They are both obnoxious, whiny, insecure, egotistical and always begging for attention.
 
41KnicksFan
      ID: 51411222
      Sat, May 22, 2004, 03:28 		Jerry Lewis/PGunn was the funniest "troll" this board ever had. He could be as big a jerk as deadeyes, but at least he did it in a smart and funny way.



Top 10 reasons deadeyes can write a better top 10 list than Letterman's writers:

10. He has a AAA Guidebook.
9. He uses mapquest.com
8. He owns a world atlas.
7. He has a Rand McNally globe.
6. His car has OnStar.
5. He stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.
4. He has a compass.
3. His middle name is Magellan.
2. He saw Pirates of the Caribbean.
1. Deadeyes has a treasure map.
 
42PermDude
      ID: 2343587
      Sat, May 22, 2004, 03:30 		KF, were you around when SuperStar was here? He was a huge troll, and then announced it was all some kind of experiment for his sociology class.

We all saw it for what it was: a bad attempt to weasel his way into the only group he actually knew.

pd
 
43KnicksFan
      ID: 454492521
      Sat, May 22, 2004, 16:53 		I don't remember SuperStar. He must not have been around during basketball season.
 
44Deadeyes
      ID: 6482120
      Sat, May 22, 2004, 20:35 		Let's get serious guys for a minute. I am watching "who wants to be a millionaire" and i haven't missed one answer since it's been on. Now tell me how i should apply. Although i am not too sure i can win the quick order contest at the beginning because i think things too methodically. But wait a second this is easy everyday knowledge. NEVERMIND i rock. Sign me up.
 
45Mike D
      Sustainer
      ID: 41831612
      Sat, May 22, 2004, 23:13 		I remember him PD. Just eggin' people on, in a brutal way. Then "admitted" things later. Yeah, won't forget that dude.