Forum: hoop
Page 9052
Subject: OT: Gurupie Limericks

  Posted by: cEHp and KnicksFan - [3974252] Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 01:25
Here's something that we came up with to have a little fun. Mind you, we realize it could get out of hand so we have alerted a moderator who will be keeping a close eye on things.

This is just the beginning, feel free to add your own (and we’ll add some more too), but keep things (relatively) clean. We will also be taking requests, so just post anything you want to be “limericized” and we will do our best. Enjoy!


There is a guy named Ender
Who coaches the female gender
When his girls lose,
He breaks out the booze,
And cries “We coulda been a contender!”

A 76ers fan named Mike D,
Is a pro wrestling fan, you see
On lonely nights
He wears rubber tights
And screams “No one can challenge me!”

YOUNGBUCK stole a ball,
And he isn’t remorseful at all,
But he will shed tears
When in 20 years
He will be cleaning a bathroom stall

There's no debater harder to budge
Than a Gurupie by the name of Sludge
He'll argue till you’re in tears
For the rest of your years
But his record you never will smudge.

The Eurogurupies are mates
Who play fantasy sports like true greats
But they don’t realize,
That they can’t win a prize,
Unless they move here to the States.

Much of Ultimate's cash generation
Comes from Italians, Germans and Croatians
For TSN surmizes
Since they aren't eligible for prizes
That their entry fees are merely donations

There once was a Gurupie named Ref
Who went to a comedy jam that was def
The comics were so good
That he spit out his food
And really insulted the chef

There once was a Dude named Perm
Who used his name as a baseball term
It quickly caught on
And before he knew it his spawn
Had spread through the boards like a germ

Mattingly In The Hall?
That guy doesn’t belong there at all!
But MITH will insist
That he will be pissed
Until Donny Baseball gets the call

There once was a gurupie named Bleeeeeeep [Moderated by a gurupie who's name ends in "ay"]
Who moderated the boards all day
Like a great Russian Spy
Wiped the profanity dry
Keeping the message boards a safe place to play

There is a famous gurupie, Dave R
Who last year was the big star
He spent his cash
On a big team stash
But he’s too old to remember how many there are!

Political gurupie Baldwin,
Stands up for what he believes in,
He says, “Liberals go to hell,
And you hippies as well,
Let us conservatives take out Osama Bin.”

Should the United States legalize pot?
Seattle Zen says, “Why not?”
He smokes it all day,
And his cares fly away,
He says, “it no cause brain my to rot”

There once lived a man named Addicted
Whose parodies were never predicted
From out of the blue
He'd spoof something new
Then vanish like he never existed

There is a Bucks fan named PGunn
Who makes posting questions no fun,
He’ll berate what you write
But deep down inside
He’s as soft as a freshly baked bun

There is a gurupie named RFS
His GMD team was the best
But then he cut me
Now I’m sad as can be
‘Till he picks me up, I will not rest

Number one manager Jedman,
Will no longer be an also-ran
But we are not glad
For this manager’s sad
Because he is a Warriors fan.

There lived a chap named Erik B.
Who worked as a Sporting News Employee
Listened to complaints all day
About not wanting to pay
Showing patience you rarely will see

There once was a gurupie named J
Who liked to start his team the next day,
His team in a bind,
So far behind,
And the money cushion now gone away.

There was a gurupie named Smack
Whose team was always in back
He posted all day
Of plans gone astray
And of his love for Robert Pack

A visionary named Dave Hall
Rules the world of fantasy ball
He waits for donations
With remarkable patience
So he’ll have money to spend at the mall.



brought to you by:
KnicksFan & CanEHdian Pride
 
1Clach
      ID: 4112529
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 01:30 		Great stuff!
 
2Perm Dude
      Leader
      ID: 0059248
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 01:32 		hahaha! Blue hen is going to molt when he reads this!
 
3KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 02:03 		This one was left out by accident:

There was a gurupie named AP10
Who bets and bets again
If he loses his dough
He'll post Best Bets standings no mo'
So lets all hope that he'll win!
 
4rage_22
      Donor
      ID: 4582621
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 15:16 		Wow, this is hilarious. I am laughing out loud.
 
5Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 47635299
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 15:20 		LOL

But geez I'm not THAT old
 
6DR Stars
      ID: 0839516
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 16:11 		Great ones, KnicksFan & CanEHdian Pride, LOL
 
72PaC
      ID: 15944301
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 16:26 		u should put my t-mac "the vein" "the axillary" reference
in there!
 
8Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 16:54 		Let me add one

Our good friend Philflyboy
Without anyone in his employ
Posts the standings each day
And does so without pay
He think his computer's a toy
 
9KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 16:59 		Good one Dave R. I guess you aren't that old.

Here you go 2PaC

If you thought 2PaC was dead,
Then you missed the thread,
Where he called TMac "The Vein"
And gained instant fame,
"I think it's the axillary", he said
 
10leggestand
      Sustainer
      ID: 25022911
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 17:18 		(Not sure how to bold names)

There once was a guy named KnicksFan
Who must of had a lot of time on his hands
He can make up some rhymes
At the drop of a dime
About all the gurupies in the land

We also can't forget about Pride
who played survivor bball (west side)
like leggestand he was
voted against just because,
he fought for his team til it died

Not as good as your guys', but it was fun to try.

Good work guys!!!
 
11KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 17:31 		LOL thanks dude!

 
12624
      ID: 60503116
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 18:31 		Great work Knicks fan. That was funny.
 
13KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 19:07 		A gurupie named 624
Says winning his division's a bore
It is really a breeze
Beating SmackDown with ease
Because Smack posts his trades before.
 
14rage_22
      Donor
      ID: 4582621
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 19:19 		LOL
 
15U.G.G.
      ID: 27049122
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 19:26 		there once was a Freak
named GolfFreak
said he liked golf
but really like the
waitress with big Hooters!
 
16Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 19:39 		U.G.H.
 
17624
      ID: 60503116
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 19:39 		LOL knicks
 
18ksoze
      Sustainer
      ID: 50643419
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 19:41 		Great job CanEHdian Pride and knicks, LOL.
 
19U.G.G.
      ID: 27049122
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 20:11 		Dave
maybe this would help post #40
http://rotoguru1.com/cgi-bin/mb/hoop/8804.shtml?1041645453



Sorry for the Hooters remark i know how you non-Euro's freak out when you see breast!



 
20Mike D
      Donor
      ID: 31022116
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 20:15 		We drool uncontrollably. Then drool some more.
 
21Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 20:25 		U.G.G.

You missed the point, that was a horriblw limerick, ugh get it?

I like Hooters, myself
 
22Seattle Zen
      Donor
      ID: 554192913
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 20:53 		Cough, hack, cough

Ya, mon, Jah be wit cha!
 
23U.G.G.
      ID: 27049122
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 20:53 		I humbly ask for your forgiveness Dave!
A rapper I'm not! Or a limericker :)
And not all Germans don't support the USA!
Take the mad man out before true damagae is done!
 
25Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 21:10 		U.G.G.

Don't understand your last post.

You are fogiven if thats what you want to hear.

My point was that it wasn,t a limerick, maybe had relavancy. I'm not a limericker either.

And what does Germany have to do with anything?
 
26CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 21:12 		A little something for the Chatroom Tools

Let me tell ya 'bout CanEHdian Pride
who had a grooming secret he never would hide
to the wickets he'd shave
and always would rave
"You really shouldn't knock it til you've tried!"
 
28Athletics Guy
      ID: 28138417
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 21:58 		LOL @ Post 26
 
29ksoze
      Sustainer
      ID: 50643419
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 22:07 		ROTFLMAO @ 26
 
30Rand
      Donor
      ID: 83231216
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 22:17 		Thanks CanEHdian Pride and KnicksFan, I've read this thread 3 times now and I'm still laughing out loud.
 
31Dan
      Sustainer
      ID: 0229323
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 23:40 		LMFAO @ 26!!!
 
32CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 23:42 		I knew that would bring the ole crew outta the woodwork.

Chatroom Tools 4 Life!

Anyone up for some trivia for old times sake?
 
33Chestergreat
      Sustainer
      ID: 1815969
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 00:37 		Great O.T. fun guys.

Kudos from an interloper from the Hockey boards.
 
34Mike D
      Donor
      ID: 31022116
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 00:39 		Any limericks over there?
 
35Ref
      Donor
      ID: 27016179
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 01:30 		haha...and to think I almsot didn't read this thread. I would have missed out. But I gotta admit, Def Comedy Jam can make you laugh pretty hard ;)
 
362PaC
      ID: 15944301
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 01:37 		hahaha Knicksfan,,,,,,,,very impressive!!!! good job!!!
 
37KTx
      ID: 3129110
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 01:46 		ahh way to go EH! =)

Post 26 is great stuff!
 
38KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 01:54 		I'm wasted, so this is what I came up with:


Did you hear about Rand Al'Thor?
He decided his name was a bore,
He cut off the end,
And went on the mend,
But now his you-know-what is sore.
 
39allhair allstars
      ID: 2014071
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 02:40 		So... a guy and a Gut walk into a bar.
Bartender says, "Hey not so fast..."
We don't serve their kind here,
No Boilermakers, just beer!
Ender leaves but the Gut has a blast.

"What about Bob?" they said to me once,
Said I, "Hmmm... just what do you mean?"
"It's been rather too long
since he's been on the scene,
And his posts turned somebody green."

The Mike to which I am referring
ends his name with a D, non-recurring.
Better guy rarely found,
Posts for laughs, not to pound,
With good words for those found most deserving.

The Dave to which I'm referring
ends his name with an R, non-recurring...
Oh, hold on...

Good guys don't always finish last,
As shown by Dave R this year past,
Never used to start posts,
Now he’s practically the host,
"Sandorders and Sons?" Come on… had to laugh!

Beyond all reason and comprehension,
Are his macros; they’ve caused me great tension.
RecycledSpinalFluid’s to blame,
He’s top notch, all the same,
Hey, how’d you do that cool thing, anyway?

KB was an original great;
His 8ers were always top rate.
Got tired of winning,
Back to discs he got spinning,
And left first place to some other one's fate.

Philflyboy's a Gurupie's Gurupie;
Never shirking his duties, why would he?
Still year after year,
His standings appear.
Three cheers for Sir Consistency!

And now for the man we call “Ticketmaster”
Be it Bucks or Brewers or Packers.
You make sure of this first,
Get ‘em twice, doesn’t hurt,
Mark L’s directions won’t get you there faster.

J is a bum.
He drinks lots of rum.
His 'Noles got no Sugar,
Still he roots with great vigor,
And the dish ran a way with the spoon.

:)
 
40KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 03:14 		The Allstars of Allhair
Disappeared in his lair,
We thought he was gone,
But, hey, we were wrong,
He came back to post poems over there.
 
41Mike D
      Donor
      ID: 31022116
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 07:35 		Classy stuff, and great reminders of days gone past guys. AA, thanks for the kind words. KnicksFan and CP, how'd you know I do that? ;)
 
42Bob Marley
      ID: 2410192222
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 11:17 		Hey, i know im only a newbie around here but
can anyone think of a limerick about me and
the pacers.
 
43J
      Leader
      ID: 49346417
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 12:13 		woohoo an allhair sighting!!!!!
 
44CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 13:36 		Ask and ye shall receive

A gurupie who was a huge Indy fan
took his his handle from a great Rastaman
hope Bob Marley's not holding his breath
'cause it could be long after death
when a Championship comes to Pacerland
 
45CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 13:43 		A gurupie named aLlEn IvErSoN
always made reading his posts so much fun
smelling mistakes by the myriad
and he never used a period
but you always knew when his sentences were dunn.
 
46Pancho Villa
      Donor
      ID: 46113919
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 14:00 		A Knicks Fan is so full of sorrow
Scott Layden from Utah they borrow
With no Three D from Spree
and McDyess a bad knee
You can kiss off the playoffs tomorrow
 
47CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 14:02 		Smelling mistakes?

Polk's Law strikes again!
 
48louky
      Sustainer
      ID: 527283021
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 14:07 		Great thread guys, perfect timing going into the break, something fun going on, on the boards.

 
49RecycledSpinalFluid
      ID: 42121814
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 14:10 		LOL, I thought smelling was on purpose.
 
50beastiemiked
      Sustainer
      ID: 29145419
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 14:18 		Haha @26. I really was trying to come up with a similar one for you but they all ended up to vulgar to post.
 
51CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 14:22 		somethin' about chopping off a certain body part?

Yeah, i went down that road too but finally came up with a PG version.

Glad all the tools are representing!

I'll try to come up with a little something for all of you but right now I'm trying to come up with 2 other words that rhyme with Twarpy
 
52Perm Dude
      Leader
      ID: 0059248
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 14:33 		A printer problem for Tree
Left him befuddled, cross, and angry.
His printer won't hookup
His driver won't lookup
The service we know won't be free!

pd
 
53KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:28 		The gurupie hippie named Tree
Is usually a cheerful enviroweenie
But his printer won't comply
And it is making him cry
Thinking about all the paper wasted by he.
 
54Jazz Dreamers
      Sustainer
      ID: 18015269
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:29 		You guys are really good at these! Thanks for the fun.
 
55Perm Dude
      Leader
      ID: 0059248
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:29 		Ooo, another Gurupie Limerick Smackdown!
 
56KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:30 		;)
 
57Rand
      Donor
      ID: 83231216
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:33 		Thanks KnicksFan, it's the thought that counts;)

OK, I'll try one, not sure if it qualifies as a limerick, but what the heck...

Micheal whose name was spelled weird
Shared his good cheer in a caustic veneer
Never letting on how much that he cared
'Til disaster relief
Took him away from here
 
58CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:35 		The gurupie Jazz Dreamer will swear
Mailman and Stock will bring home the hardware
I hope this comes true
because without those two
His dreams will turn into a nightmare
 
59KevinL
      Donor
      ID: 44112616
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:44 		A Gurupie was called KevinL
He was patiently waiting until
It seemed no one would write
A rhyme 'bout him tonight
So he said "you can all go to #^%$"

Just kidding, great stuff guys, keep it up!
 
60Jazz Dreamers
      Sustainer
      ID: 18015269
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:47 		I must admit that CanEHdian Pride
into my feeble mind has pried.
Dreams of Ostertag,
the 7 foot punchingbag,
have a horror that can't be denied.
 
61CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:49 		LMAO JD....that is a keeper!
 
62PGunn
      ID: 520212611
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:53 		Gurupie named GolfFreak was a sad man
cause he could never get sex from his wife BucksFan
He cheers, and cheers every nite for Milwaukee
cause if the BUCKS win he might get lucky



Lame ;)
 
63Ender
      ID: 13443221
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:54 		There's got to be one with a reference to the infamous #2 thread (wasn't it smallwhirled that couldn't drop the deuce?).
 
64philflyboy
      Leader
      ID: 407561421
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:54 		thanks Dave R and AA for the kind words.
Great to see you post again AA.
 
65CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 15:58 		That's it Ender....we are trying to celebrate the great history of Rotoguru.com with this thread. If anyone can think of other classic RGDot moments that deserve to be cast in limmerick form feel free to bring them up.

I'm not familiar with the aforementioned moment but I'll do my best.

PGun....don't give up your day job! :)
(Limmerick = 5 lines)
 
66PGunn
      ID: 520212611
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:00 		LOL CPride, guess it's a poem then.
 
67KevinL
      Donor
      ID: 44112616
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:00 		#2
 
68KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:00 		Phantasy Stars was an interesting dude,
He challenged us Eboons to beat him - how rude!
His team fell to last,
And it happened so fast
That we all laughed till we choked on our food.
 
69KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:05 		Can you imagine a case
Where the dominant race
Are fantasy nuts
Who sit on their butts
Planet of the Eboons is that place
 
70philflyboy
      Leader
      ID: 407561421
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:06 		I can give you 85 million reasons to make a limerick ;)
 
71CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:09 		****Please don't read if you're squeamish********

Smallwhirled is a regular user
who was havin' trouble hangin' a deucer
Gurupies all offered their cure
to stop the pain he had to endure
but there was nothin' that would make his stool looser
 
72KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:15 		Smallwhirled had a problem for sure
His pooper was working no more
Gurupies gave him good tips,
But his cheeks tightened their grips,
And 2 years later he still needs a cure.
 
73louky
      Sustainer
      ID: 527283021
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:16 		There once was a gurupie named Polk
One of Bellies original folk
We don't see him much around here
ThePolitical forum I fear
Looking for deeper debates to provoke
 
74beastiemiked
      Sustainer
      ID: 3531815
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:21 		There's a gurupie named Dan
missing school is his plan
his dream since the day he was born
was satisfied when he starred in a porn
too bad now all he has is his hand.
 
75Bob Marley
      ID: 2410192222
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:22 		Haha guys this is great. Thanks ceHP the one
about me is great.
 
77Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 16:50 		Louky had been around for awhile
But for a while went into exile
but now he is back
seems to be on track
and giving us reason to smile
 
78beastiemiked
      Sustainer
      ID: 3531815
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 17:07

In the land up north there's a man named Toral
on the Politics forum he's known as Mr. Moral
his real name is al
the "Tor" stands for his locale
have your own fun with this line using "oral".
 
79KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 17:13 		Vilica is the guy who knows
Why my computer just suddenly froze
He says it will be reborn
If I delete all my porn
I said "I'm never getting rid of those hoes!"
 
80Guru
      ID: 330592710
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 17:13 		Someone named PGunn often posts here,
And his usual style is to jeer.
The question's been asked
If his posts could be masked,
So that maybe he'd just disappear!
 
81Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 17:19 		LOL guru
 
82Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 17:26 		There's a GURU named Dave Hall
Who's efforts benefits us all
His forum is great
He's got alot on plate
Make a donation and don't make it small
 
83CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 17:32 		Dave R played Ultimate Hoops and won
it was so easy that he wasn't having much fun
so he thought it'd be a joy
co-owning a team with his boy
so he created team Sanforders & Son
 
84Vilica
      Sustainer
      ID: 12811817
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 17:35 		Hopeful be the Memphis Fan,
that Jerry West got a plan
Toolin' round in his 20" rims
all about them benjamins
He be bling-blingin', man.
 
85Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 17:36 		woohoo, I have 3 limericks
 
86beastiemiked
      Sustainer
      ID: 3531815
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 17:47 		aLlEn IvErSoN used to be immature
a little taste of college was the cure
with words like butthurt and dunn
talking to him was a lot of fun
without him the chatroom lost some of its allure.
 
87CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 17:51 		BUTTHURT! LOL!

Those were the days!
 
88PGunn
      ID: 520212611
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 18:52 		Boooooooooooo, GURU. ;)
 
89beastiemiked
      Sustainer
      ID: 29145419
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 18:59 		I love the ratings for this thread, 3 1's and 9 5's.
 
90smallwhirled
      Donor
      ID: 17152614
      Fri, Feb 07, 2003, 22:04 		This really is a great thread! Nice to see some names of the past.
 
91Tim G
      Donor
      ID: 209141819
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 01:50 		There was a young lady from Nantucket...

...that goes nowhere, nothing rhymes with
Nantucket.

There was a young man named Enis...

...fenis, wenis...nope

Maybe Benny Hill has some ideas...

 
92KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 01:52 		Ohhh how I wish I could post my Nantucket ones!
 
93Memphis Fan
      ID: 36851518
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 02:52 		Vilica:

LOL! Dont hate on the ride! ;)
 
94Great One
      Donor
      ID: 41136511
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 03:06 		I started the original epic Phantasy Stars thread when I made fun of him for something... and that really got the ball rolling with that guy... but I think Guru has trashed all remains of all threads involving him... anyone got a copy or remember what I am talking about. This was over two years ago I believe.
 
95KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 03:17 		Planet of the Eboons
 
96Great One
      Donor
      ID: 41136511
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 03:33 		good - but like i said at the end of that one... still not the original - by this time PS had become a little less abrasive. the first thread was vicious, offensive, and just as creative.

I remember he told us all that he was surely going to finish #1 WWR at the end of the season... and he was gonna do it to prove all of us to be fools. This coming from a guy who - when LAC had a 5 in 7 or some stretch like that -picked up like 7 Clippers... which is what I was referring to at the end of that thread.
 
97rockafellerskank
      Sustainer
      ID: 461124288
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 08:36 		There once was a TSN dude named Bernie Hou
When problems cropped up, he knew what to do
He and Erik B make quite a dynamic duo
but their skills as managers are suspect, you know?
but they've made the game so much the better for me and you!

 
98bd
      Donor
      ID: 4911511420
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 09:34 		Not a gurupie but about a player...

There was a player named Robert Pack
With two decent games he proclaimed "I am Back"
The masses started buyin'
Now their all cryin'
For it's trades and TSN points they lack.
 
99Bernie H.
      ID: 33703110
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 09:59 		thanks, rfs..

but try again; my name's pronounced "how"... :)
 
100CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 12:32 		'Twas a Gurupie who often would boast
that he was better at limmericks then most
though this may have been untrue
one thing that he knew
is that he could brag that he had the 100th post
 
101Tree
      ID: 22052618
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 13:51 		There is a Gurupie named Tree
he wants his printer fixed for free
i paid 99 bucks for this $h!t
ain't paying nothing extra for it
yessirree, that's me

to help me on the phone, canon tried to charge me 10 bucks
causing yours truly to say what the F<>ck
customer support doesn't exist anymore
every stupid company is a money whore
and every nerve of mine they pluck

well, the damned thing still doesn't work
doesnt buying it get me ANY perk?
i called again, to try and get aid
clearly the canon rep needs to get la!d
because the bunghole was still a jerk

so, here i sit, broken hearted
my printer done died, it's dearly departed
still, i'm not quite ready to quit
even though my computer is a money pit
Even though i'm right back where i started.


 
102KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 14:34 		At center from Georgetown, number 33
Patrick Ewing was as great as can be
He never got a ring
But thats a minor thing
He's still the greatest Knick to me.

A massive inside force named Oak
Was stronger than rum without coke
He had rebounding skills
And ball-diving spills
And in the clutch he never did choke.

That bust by the name of Charles Smith
His basketball talent was myth
That layup he tried,
But Pippen denied
And so we sentenced him to death.

The cinderella story of John Starks
From grocery store to shooting 3's with good arcs
He was the fan fave
And was all the rave
Until the finals when he missed all the marks

Derek Harper was an aging point guard
Who came every game to play hard
His passing adept
But we all wept
When he left the job to Charlie Ward

Awesome 6th man Anthony Mason
Was as wide as the Amazon Basin
He would shave in his head
Quotes that we all read
Such as "Mase in yo face"-n

And there was the coach, Pat Riley
Who drew up plays that were wiley
He loved to win
But thought it a sin
To wear anything but Armani styley
 
103Slackjawed Yokel
      Sustainer
      ID: 50242216
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 15:47 		A type of nerd exists called a Gurupie
Known to be quite obsessed and loopy.
Trackin' TSNP in their head,
Plannin' their trades out in bed,
is why in the day, their eyes are all droopy.

They buy a dish to watch every game,
with hopes of joining the hall of fame.
'Wait, what's up with Corey Maggette?
If only I had a machete -
my season has gone down in flames!'

Their hunger for fantasy sports not yet sated,
a game within a game they have created.
Drafting other fantasy geeks,
and dropping them on odd weeks
seems quite odd to the uninitiated.

But as a Gurupie, this you must spy-
Examine the word closely with your eye.
We all really know
who's running the show.
Without the Guru, we'd only be pie, mmm pie.
 
104Guru
      ID: 330592710
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 16:22 		mmm...pie
 
105balls
      Donor
      ID: 369321112
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 23:32 		There was once a Small World moderator named Lou
who had absolutely no clue
He had this strange fascination about Anthony Mason
so strong was his love that he jumped into a basin
He has since moved on and now lives with a kangaroo.
 
106balls
      Donor
      ID: 369321112
      Sat, Feb 08, 2003, 23:40 		lol, guru
 
107Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 13:46 		There's a Gurupie named Blackjack, you hear
Who last season had a heck of a year
He's got a plan for sure
His picks are so pure
He's always a player to fear


 
108Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 13:58 		We've all heard of Jumpball
In the LRV he stands tall
He's always the champ
On that game he has a clamp
He makes the rest of us feel small
 
109Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 14:40 		VIdevilrays
What kind of name is that anyways
Although it's his claim
That Baseball's his game
He does well whatever he plays
 
110allhair allstars
      ID: 19112921
      Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 22:12 		For this exercise we lay partial blame
On a guy who once called himself Shame.
Find him drinking LaBatts
As he sits 'round and chats.
CanEHdian Pride is his name.

I once met a guy from out west,
In town vending machine markets to test,
Sat 'round, had a chat,
The guy gave me his hat.
Gurupie Jedman, he's one of the best.

When seeking permission say please
or he'll wipe out your next words with ease.
Some moderators are lazy,
Not Perm Dude, he's crazy,
Just watch out for his legalese.
 
111xpdurmind
      Donor
      ID: 410492320
      Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 23:03 		Here,I met a chap named Dave R.

A champ above the rest by far

He started slow ,but he took our blow

And started gaining back his seat in the first row

 
114xpdurmind
      Donor
      ID: 410492320
      Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 23:54 		But the king of the hill is another fellow


He sits atop the fantasy world all cool and mellow


He dissect,  he projects,assimilates and reports


An alternate universe of fantasy in sports


 


Guru as he’s called by his peers


Created this forum to ease our fears


Others call him Dave Hall


Still playing with the joy of a kid with his first ball


 
115Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 00:31 		I'm sure you've heard of Bandwagon's curse
Last year it couldn't be worse
He's a fantasy stud
For sure he's no dud
He's a threat to win the top prize purse
 
116wazaaap_guy
      ID: 78101216
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 01:49 		As the gurupie WG he's known
but his name in the thread was not shown
"they've all got one but me
even youngbuck, oak, and tree
so why not just make up my own"

sorry its gay but its also 1 45 am and im tired.
 
117CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 07:38 		One day a man named Allhair told all us
'bout his team of players who best used their hair folicles
Quite some time has past
since he elected this cast
Hope he saved an extra slot for Ben Wallace



;)
 
119Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 54449116
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 07:51 		There's a guy I call XP
No funnier name there could be
He's having a great season
It's one of the reasons
He leads my team GMD
 
120PGunn
      ID: 520212611
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 07:56 		119 posts to this thread
Really boggles my head
As, I've told my wife
GURUPIES have no life
And they are all sick in the head
 
121DR Stars
      ID: 0839516
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 08:07 		There's no love for me in here, and I can't even begin to write one for myself... so please, "anyone, anyone, Bueller?"
 
122Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 47635299
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 10:19 		We've all heard of DR Stars
Who plays the game from a far
I can only surmize
Since he's ineligible for the prize
Competetion keeps his game above par

Hows that DR
 
124blue hen
      Leader
      ID: 40029714
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 14:17 		PGunn rhymed "head" with "head" - that's a major no-no.

There once was a Gurupie named Twarp
About the Raptors and Lawhorn he'd harp
But he's out of luck
Cause now they both suck
And this rhyme is a real piece of carp.
 
125slam
      ID: 481261013
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 14:26 		there once was a gurupie named SmackDown
who gave his advice in this town
i listened to him
and my points became slim
now my WWR makes me frown
 
126DR Stars
      ID: 0839516
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 14:40 		Thanks Dave R, I'm printing it. ;)
 
127R
      ID: 241221016
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:22 		#125 slam: hahahahahahaha
 
128Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:26 		There's a guy from north of the border
Who's teams are always in order
We know him as Twarpy
He sure is a sharpie
But I wouldn't want him to marry my daughter
 
129RecycledSpinalFluid
      ID: 42121814
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:33 		How do you do one about Twarpy and not include Modergate 2000?

(Side note...was it really that long ago?)
 
130CanEHdian Pride
      Donor
      ID: 48936413
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:42
Twarpy is the resident sleuth
who is always in search of the truth
struck down Moderator Lou
with only one clue
putting an end to an episode so uncouth

don't worry RSF...your limmerick is in the works. Its been a long time coming for such a great Gurupie.
 
131RecycledSpinalFluid
      ID: 42121814
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:54 		psst...It was Moderator Mike...
 
133Dave R
      Leader
      ID: 12441623
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:01 		RSF is the spreadsheet wiz
Computers must be his biz
The standings we post
He's the author of most
I'm telling it like it is

 
134PGunn
      ID: 520212611
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:28 		We've had enough limericks from Dave R
He's posted the most by far
Most of them suck
and with a little luck
he'll stop cause his limericks are not up to par
 
135KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:47 		PGunn displays little class
Making comments that are crass
He likes to make fun,
Of almost everyone,
He is an equal opportunity ass.

;)
 
136PGunn
      ID: 520212611
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:59 		LMAO KnicksFan.
 
137PGunn
      ID: 520212611
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 19:04 		The "Dell Dude" got busted for pot
just when his career was getting so hot
Now Dell will fire him
and he'll go to prison
and his cellmate will make his butt hurt alot
 
138T
      ID: 51151018
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 19:15 		#137 rhyming "him" and "prison" is pathetic but i considered the source and it made sense.
 
139PGunn
      ID: 520212611
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 19:17 		it's close enough man.
 
140wiggs
      Donor
      ID: 10261612
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:00 		knicksfan i like 135. that is great
 
141Dan's Principal
      ID: 17103822
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:05 		Dan is a kid who likes to skip class
Next time he does, I may break out the teargas!
He is constantly oversleeping
But you won't find me weaping
Because if he fails, he's gotta kiss my ass.
 
142APerfect10
      Leader
      ID: 70412023
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:14 		#141 is the best one yet! Dan, you misbehaving again?
 
143KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:17 		Farn and Wiggs
Share the same digs
One day Farn baked a pie
And when he said "bye, bye"
Wiggs went at it like Jason Biggs.

Sorry guys, those names are tough to rhyme!!!!
 
144wiggs
      Donor
      ID: 10261612
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:24 		Thanks alot knicksfan
 
145KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:41 		That last limerick was just a joke (sorry if I offended)...here is a more serious one...


Gurupie Wiggs I will thank
For running more leagues than rfskank
Survivor and Head-to-Head
Would be more fun if I led
Is 5th a respectable rank?
 
146wiggs
      Donor
      ID: 10261612
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:43 		thanks knicks. i like that better.
 
147J
      Leader
      ID: 49346417
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 22:29 		KTx is the world's worst commissioner
But not bad for a foreigner
Now he's become a USC Trojan
So I know I'll beat him by a large margin
Our leagues are always quite the yawner.

Smallwhirled is my Seminole bud who stands tall
He made his mark finishing #2 in baseball
We usually chat about SW every morning
I'm usually the one who's yawning
Because his internet connection is his downfall
 
149KTx
      ID: 3129110
      Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 22:38 		First of all, I'm not the worst commissioner... you are... you screw over the point system everytime you are the commish

Second, You haven't and never will beat me by any margin =P

Third, the league is a yawner for you because you are always too far behind =D
 
151Athletics Guy
      ID: 30139723
      Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 04:16 		Re 149

Yes, ou are the worst commissioner ever!

Second, J beat you in baseball last season.

Third, you should give up because I'm never giving up this lead!
 
152J
      Leader
      ID: 49346417
      Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 12:49 		busted!

not a limerick, but a just got a funny email dealing with poetry:

The National Poetry contest had come down to 2 semi-finalists:
A Yale graduate and Newfoundlander.
They were given a single word, then allowed 2 minutes to come up with a poem that contained that word. The word given was: TIMBUKTU
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped up to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination: Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy ! No way could the Newfie top that, they thought. The Newfoundlander calmly made his way to the microphone and recited...

Me and Tim a huntin' we went,
Met three gals in a pop-up tent.
They was three and we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu.

The Newfie won hands down!
 
153rage_22
      Donor
      ID: 4582621
      Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 13:40 		That is hilarious stuff J.
 
154KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 3974252
      Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 15:16 		My Grandmother always tells me that joke LOL
 
155KTx
      ID: 3129110
      Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 03:41 		He beat me last year?! damn...
was J the commish of that league? I remember once when J killed the scoring system by "tweaking" it
 
156Athletics Guy
      ID: 30139723
      Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 04:53 		Yeah, he beat you by using a loophole in his scoring system. Remember how we all laughed at him for having points for each IP when there was already a maximum limit for IP? Well, he was just barely under the max IP limit, and then he filled up his roster with almost every available starting pitcher that was going on the last day of the season. Needless to say, he had a very big day. :)

After having said that, I still think J is the best commissioner ever!

"1.1 Alex Rodriguez" That's all I gotta say! :D
 
157J
      Leader
      ID: 49346417
      Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 13:42 		oh yeah, I forgot to tell KTx that he could do that ;)
 
158KTx
      ID: 3129110
      Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 17:07 		Stupid loopholer!

I own u J!
 
159Dan
      Sustainer
      ID: 0229323
      Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 18:27 		Ummmm can I just say, you both suck!?
 
160J
      Leader
      ID: 49346417
      Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 19:32 		rotflmfao!!!!!!!!!!
 
161cEHp @ school
      ID: 411491311
      Thu, Feb 13, 2003, 13:00 		A hot thread seems to have found a rut
and since I'm a limmerick posting nut
the interest once more i'll will gauge
with a bump to the top of the page
and if you don't like it you can kiss my BUTT
 
162KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 439341814
      Thu, Feb 13, 2003, 19:55 		This is the story of Shawn Kemp
A bigger stooge than Moe or Shemp
He threw away an All-Star career
For burgers, fries and lots of beer
As well as cocaine and smoking hemp.
 
163KnicksFan
      Donor
      ID: 30815418
      Fri, Apr 08, 2005, 19:35 		Bring it back...