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Subject: OT: Gurupie Limericks
Posted by: cEHp and KnicksFan
- [3974252] Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 01:25
Here's something that we came up with to have a little fun. Mind you, we realize it could get out of hand so we have alerted a moderator who will be keeping a close eye on things.
This is just the beginning, feel free to add your own (and we’ll add some more too), but keep things (relatively) clean. We will also be taking requests, so just post anything you want to be “limericized” and we will do our best. Enjoy!
There is a guy named Ender Who coaches the female gender When his girls lose, He breaks out the booze, And cries “We coulda been a contender!”
A 76ers fan named Mike D, Is a pro wrestling fan, you see On lonely nights He wears rubber tights And screams “No one can challenge me!”
YOUNGBUCK stole a ball, And he isn’t remorseful at all, But he will shed tears When in 20 years He will be cleaning a bathroom stall There's no debater harder to budge Than a Gurupie by the name of Sludge He'll argue till you’re in tears For the rest of your years But his record you never will smudge.
The Eurogurupies are mates Who play fantasy sports like true greats But they don’t realize, That they can’t win a prize, Unless they move here to the States.
Much of Ultimate's cash generation Comes from Italians, Germans and Croatians For TSN surmizes Since they aren't eligible for prizes That their entry fees are merely donations
There once was a Gurupie named Ref Who went to a comedy jam that was def The comics were so good That he spit out his food And really insulted the chef
There once was a Dude named Perm Who used his name as a baseball term It quickly caught on And before he knew it his spawn Had spread through the boards like a germ
Mattingly In The Hall? That guy doesn’t belong there at all! But MITH will insist That he will be pissed Until Donny Baseball gets the call
There once was a gurupie named Bleeeeeeep [Moderated by a gurupie who's name ends in "ay"] Who moderated the boards all day Like a great Russian Spy Wiped the profanity dry Keeping the message boards a safe place to play
There is a famous gurupie, Dave R Who last year was the big star He spent his cash On a big team stash But he’s too old to remember how many there are!
Political gurupie Baldwin, Stands up for what he believes in, He says, “Liberals go to hell, And you hippies as well, Let us conservatives take out Osama Bin.”
Should the United States legalize pot? Seattle Zen says, “Why not?” He smokes it all day, And his cares fly away, He says, “it no cause brain my to rot”
There once lived a man named Addicted Whose parodies were never predicted From out of the blue He'd spoof something new Then vanish like he never existed
There is a Bucks fan named PGunn Who makes posting questions no fun, He’ll berate what you write But deep down inside He’s as soft as a freshly baked bun
There is a gurupie named RFS His GMD team was the best But then he cut me Now I’m sad as can be ‘Till he picks me up, I will not rest
Number one manager Jedman, Will no longer be an also-ran But we are not glad For this manager’s sad Because he is a Warriors fan.
There lived a chap named Erik B. Who worked as a Sporting News Employee Listened to complaints all day About not wanting to pay Showing patience you rarely will see
There once was a gurupie named J Who liked to start his team the next day, His team in a bind, So far behind, And the money cushion now gone away.
There was a gurupie named Smack Whose team was always in back He posted all day Of plans gone astray And of his love for Robert Pack
A visionary named Dave Hall Rules the world of fantasy ball He waits for donations With remarkable patience So he’ll have money to spend at the mall.
brought to you by: KnicksFan & CanEHdian Pride
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Only the 50 most recent replies are currently shown. Click on this text to display hidden posts as well. [Lengthy or complex threads may require a slight delay before updating.] |
107 | Dave R Leader
ID: 12441623 Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 13:46
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There's a Gurupie named Blackjack, you hear Who last season had a heck of a year He's got a plan for sure His picks are so pure He's always a player to fear
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108 | Dave R Leader
ID: 12441623 Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 13:58
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We've all heard of Jumpball In the LRV he stands tall He's always the champ On that game he has a clamp He makes the rest of us feel small
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109 | Dave R Leader
ID: 12441623 Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 14:40
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VIdevilrays What kind of name is that anyways Although it's his claim That Baseball's his game He does well whatever he plays
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110 | allhair allstars
ID: 19112921 Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 22:12
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For this exercise we lay partial blame On a guy who once called himself Shame. Find him drinking LaBatts As he sits 'round and chats. CanEHdian Pride is his name.
I once met a guy from out west, In town vending machine markets to test, Sat 'round, had a chat, The guy gave me his hat. Gurupie Jedman, he's one of the best.
When seeking permission say please or he'll wipe out your next words with ease. Some moderators are lazy, Not Perm Dude, he's crazy, Just watch out for his legalese.
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111 | xpdurmind Donor
ID: 410492320 Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 23:03
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Here,I met a chap named Dave R. A champ above the rest by far He started slow ,but he took our blow And started gaining back his seat in the first row
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114 | xpdurmind Donor
ID: 410492320 Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 23:54
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But the king of the hill is another fellow He sits atop the fantasy world all cool and mellow He dissect, he projects,assimilates and reports An alternate universe of fantasy in sports
Guru as he’s called by his peers Created this forum to ease our fears Others call him Dave Hall Still playing with the joy of a kid with his first ball
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115 | Dave R Leader
ID: 12441623 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 00:31
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I'm sure you've heard of Bandwagon's curse Last year it couldn't be worse He's a fantasy stud For sure he's no dud He's a threat to win the top prize purse
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116 | wazaaap_guy
ID: 78101216 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 01:49
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As the gurupie WG he's known but his name in the thread was not shown "they've all got one but me even youngbuck, oak, and tree so why not just make up my own"
sorry its gay but its also 1 45 am and im tired.
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117 | CanEHdian Pride Donor
ID: 48936413 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 07:38
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One day a man named Allhair told all us 'bout his team of players who best used their hair folicles Quite some time has past since he elected this cast Hope he saved an extra slot for Ben Wallace
;)
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119 | Dave R Leader
ID: 54449116 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 07:51
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There's a guy I call XP No funnier name there could be He's having a great season It's one of the reasons He leads my team GMD
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120 | PGunn
ID: 520212611 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 07:56
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119 posts to this thread Really boggles my head As, I've told my wife GURUPIES have no life And they are all sick in the head
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121 | DR Stars
ID: 0839516 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 08:07
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There's no love for me in here, and I can't even begin to write one for myself... so please, "anyone, anyone, Bueller?"
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122 | Dave R Leader
ID: 47635299 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 10:19
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We've all heard of DR Stars Who plays the game from a far I can only surmize Since he's ineligible for the prize Competetion keeps his game above par
Hows that DR
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124 | blue hen Leader
ID: 40029714 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 14:17
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PGunn rhymed "head" with "head" - that's a major no-no.
There once was a Gurupie named Twarp About the Raptors and Lawhorn he'd harp But he's out of luck Cause now they both suck And this rhyme is a real piece of carp.
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125 | slam
ID: 481261013 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 14:26
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there once was a gurupie named SmackDown who gave his advice in this town i listened to him and my points became slim now my WWR makes me frown
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126 | DR Stars
ID: 0839516 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 14:40
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Thanks Dave R, I'm printing it. ;)
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127 | R
ID: 241221016 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:22
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#125 slam: hahahahahahaha
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128 | Dave R Leader
ID: 12441623 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:26
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There's a guy from north of the border Who's teams are always in order We know him as Twarpy He sure is a sharpie But I wouldn't want him to marry my daughter
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129 | RecycledSpinalFluid
ID: 42121814 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:33
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How do you do one about Twarpy and not include Modergate 2000?
(Side note...was it really that long ago?)
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130 | CanEHdian Pride Donor
ID: 48936413 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:42
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Twarpy is the resident sleuth who is always in search of the truth struck down Moderator Lou with only one clue putting an end to an episode so uncouth
don't worry RSF...your limmerick is in the works. Its been a long time coming for such a great Gurupie.
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131 | RecycledSpinalFluid
ID: 42121814 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:54
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psst...It was Moderator Mike...
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133 | Dave R Leader
ID: 12441623 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:01
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RSF is the spreadsheet wiz Computers must be his biz The standings we post He's the author of most I'm telling it like it is
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134 | PGunn
ID: 520212611 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:28
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We've had enough limericks from Dave R He's posted the most by far Most of them suck and with a little luck he'll stop cause his limericks are not up to par
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135 | KnicksFan Donor
ID: 3974252 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:47
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PGunn displays little class Making comments that are crass He likes to make fun, Of almost everyone, He is an equal opportunity ass.
;)
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136 | PGunn
ID: 520212611 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:59
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LMAO KnicksFan.
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137 | PGunn
ID: 520212611 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 19:04
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The "Dell Dude" got busted for pot just when his career was getting so hot Now Dell will fire him and he'll go to prison and his cellmate will make his butt hurt alot
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138 | T
ID: 51151018 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 19:15
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#137 rhyming "him" and "prison" is pathetic but i considered the source and it made sense.
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139 | PGunn
ID: 520212611 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 19:17
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it's close enough man.
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140 | wiggs Donor
ID: 10261612 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:00
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knicksfan i like 135. that is great
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141 | Dan's Principal
ID: 17103822 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:05
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Dan is a kid who likes to skip class Next time he does, I may break out the teargas! He is constantly oversleeping But you won't find me weaping Because if he fails, he's gotta kiss my ass.
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142 | APerfect10 Leader
ID: 70412023 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:14
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#141 is the best one yet! Dan, you misbehaving again?
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143 | KnicksFan Donor
ID: 3974252 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:17
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Farn and Wiggs Share the same digs One day Farn baked a pie And when he said "bye, bye" Wiggs went at it like Jason Biggs.
Sorry guys, those names are tough to rhyme!!!!
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144 | wiggs Donor
ID: 10261612 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:24
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Thanks alot knicksfan
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145 | KnicksFan Donor
ID: 3974252 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:41
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That last limerick was just a joke (sorry if I offended)...here is a more serious one...
Gurupie Wiggs I will thank For running more leagues than rfskank Survivor and Head-to-Head Would be more fun if I led Is 5th a respectable rank?
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146 | wiggs Donor
ID: 10261612 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:43
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thanks knicks. i like that better.
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147 | J Leader
ID: 49346417 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 22:29
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KTx is the world's worst commissioner But not bad for a foreigner Now he's become a USC Trojan So I know I'll beat him by a large margin Our leagues are always quite the yawner.
Smallwhirled is my Seminole bud who stands tall He made his mark finishing #2 in baseball We usually chat about SW every morning I'm usually the one who's yawning Because his internet connection is his downfall
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149 | KTx
ID: 3129110 Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 22:38
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First of all, I'm not the worst commissioner... you are... you screw over the point system everytime you are the commish
Second, You haven't and never will beat me by any margin =P
Third, the league is a yawner for you because you are always too far behind =D
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151 | Athletics Guy
ID: 30139723 Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 04:16
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Re 149
Yes, ou are the worst commissioner ever!
Second, J beat you in baseball last season.
Third, you should give up because I'm never giving up this lead!
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152 | J Leader
ID: 49346417 Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 12:49
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busted!
not a limerick, but a just got a funny email dealing with poetry:
The National Poetry contest had come down to 2 semi-finalists: A Yale graduate and Newfoundlander. They were given a single word, then allowed 2 minutes to come up with a poem that contained that word. The word given was: TIMBUKTU First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped up to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand Trekked a lonely caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination: Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy ! No way could the Newfie top that, they thought. The Newfoundlander calmly made his way to the microphone and recited...
Me and Tim a huntin' we went, Met three gals in a pop-up tent. They was three and we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu.
The Newfie won hands down!
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153 | rage_22 Donor
ID: 4582621 Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 13:40
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That is hilarious stuff J.
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154 | KnicksFan Donor
ID: 3974252 Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 15:16
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My Grandmother always tells me that joke LOL
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155 | KTx
ID: 3129110 Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 03:41
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He beat me last year?! damn... was J the commish of that league? I remember once when J killed the scoring system by "tweaking" it
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156 | Athletics Guy
ID: 30139723 Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 04:53
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Yeah, he beat you by using a loophole in his scoring system. Remember how we all laughed at him for having points for each IP when there was already a maximum limit for IP? Well, he was just barely under the max IP limit, and then he filled up his roster with almost every available starting pitcher that was going on the last day of the season. Needless to say, he had a very big day. :)
After having said that, I still think J is the best commissioner ever!
"1.1 Alex Rodriguez" That's all I gotta say! :D
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157 | J Leader
ID: 49346417 Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 13:42
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oh yeah, I forgot to tell KTx that he could do that ;)
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158 | KTx
ID: 3129110 Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 17:07
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Stupid loopholer!
I own u J!
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159 | Dan Sustainer
ID: 0229323 Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 18:27
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Ummmm can I just say, you both suck!?
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160 | J Leader
ID: 49346417 Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 19:32
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rotflmfao!!!!!!!!!!
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161 | cEHp @ school
ID: 411491311 Thu, Feb 13, 2003, 13:00
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A hot thread seems to have found a rut and since I'm a limmerick posting nut the interest once more i'll will gauge with a bump to the top of the page and if you don't like it you can kiss my BUTT
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162 | KnicksFan Donor
ID: 439341814 Thu, Feb 13, 2003, 19:55
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This is the story of Shawn Kemp A bigger stooge than Moe or Shemp He threw away an All-Star career For burgers, fries and lots of beer As well as cocaine and smoking hemp.
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163 | KnicksFan Donor
ID: 30815418 Fri, Apr 08, 2005, 19:35
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Bring it back...
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