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Subject: OT: Gurupie Limericks
Posted by: cEHp and KnicksFan
- [3974252] Thu, Feb 06, 2003, 01:25
Here's something that we came up with to have a little fun. Mind you, we realize it could get out of hand so we have alerted a moderator who will be keeping a close eye on things.
This is just the beginning, feel free to add your own (and we’ll add some more too), but keep things (relatively) clean. We will also be taking requests, so just post anything you want to be “limericized” and we will do our best. Enjoy!
There is a guy named Ender
Who coaches the female gender
When his girls lose,
He breaks out the booze,
And cries “We coulda been a contender!”
A 76ers fan named Mike D,
Is a pro wrestling fan, you see
On lonely nights
He wears rubber tights
And screams “No one can challenge me!”
YOUNGBUCK stole a ball,
And he isn’t remorseful at all,
But he will shed tears
When in 20 years
He will be cleaning a bathroom stall
There's no debater harder to budge
Than a Gurupie by the name of Sludge
He'll argue till you’re in tears
For the rest of your years
But his record you never will smudge.
The Eurogurupies are mates
Who play fantasy sports like true greats
But they don’t realize,
That they can’t win a prize,
Unless they move here to the States.
Much of Ultimate's cash generation
Comes from Italians, Germans and Croatians
For TSN surmizes
Since they aren't eligible for prizes
That their entry fees are merely donations
There once was a Gurupie named Ref
Who went to a comedy jam that was def
The comics were so good
That he spit out his food
And really insulted the chef
There once was a Dude named Perm
Who used his name as a baseball term
It quickly caught on
And before he knew it his spawn
Had spread through the boards like a germ
Mattingly In The Hall?
That guy doesn’t belong there at all!
But MITH will insist
That he will be pissed
Until Donny Baseball gets the call
There once was a gurupie named Bleeeeeeep [Moderated by a gurupie who's name ends in "ay"]
Who moderated the boards all day
Like a great Russian Spy
Wiped the profanity dry
Keeping the message boards a safe place to play
There is a famous gurupie, Dave R
Who last year was the big star
He spent his cash
On a big team stash
But he’s too old to remember how many there are!
Political gurupie Baldwin,
Stands up for what he believes in,
He says, “Liberals go to hell,
And you hippies as well,
Let us conservatives take out Osama Bin.”
Should the United States legalize pot?
Seattle Zen says, “Why not?”
He smokes it all day,
And his cares fly away,
He says, “it no cause brain my to rot”
There once lived a man named Addicted
Whose parodies were never predicted
From out of the blue
He'd spoof something new
Then vanish like he never existed
There is a Bucks fan named PGunn
Who makes posting questions no fun,
He’ll berate what you write
But deep down inside
He’s as soft as a freshly baked bun
There is a gurupie named RFS
His GMD team was the best
But then he cut me
Now I’m sad as can be
‘Till he picks me up, I will not rest
Number one manager Jedman,
Will no longer be an also-ran
But we are not glad
For this manager’s sad
Because he is a Warriors fan.
There lived a chap named Erik B.
Who worked as a Sporting News Employee
Listened to complaints all day
About not wanting to pay
Showing patience you rarely will see
There once was a gurupie named J
Who liked to start his team the next day,
His team in a bind,
So far behind,
And the money cushion now gone away.
There was a gurupie named Smack
Whose team was always in back
He posted all day
Of plans gone astray
And of his love for Robert Pack
A visionary named Dave Hall
Rules the world of fantasy ball
He waits for donations
With remarkable patience
So he’ll have money to spend at the mall.
brought to you by:
KnicksFan & CanEHdian Pride
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Only the 50 most recent replies are currently shown. Click on this text to display hidden posts as well.
[Lengthy or complex threads may require a slight delay before updating.] |
| 107 | Dave R
Leader
ID: 12441623
Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 13:46
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There's a Gurupie named Blackjack, you hear
Who last season had a heck of a year
He's got a plan for sure
His picks are so pure
He's always a player to fear
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| 108 | Dave R
Leader
ID: 12441623
Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 13:58
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We've all heard of Jumpball
In the LRV he stands tall
He's always the champ
On that game he has a clamp
He makes the rest of us feel small
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| 109 | Dave R
Leader
ID: 12441623
Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 14:40
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VIdevilrays
What kind of name is that anyways
Although it's his claim
That Baseball's his game
He does well whatever he plays
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| 110 | allhair allstars
ID: 19112921
Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 22:12
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For this exercise we lay partial blame
On a guy who once called himself Shame.
Find him drinking LaBatts
As he sits 'round and chats.
CanEHdian Pride is his name.
I once met a guy from out west,
In town vending machine markets to test,
Sat 'round, had a chat,
The guy gave me his hat.
Gurupie Jedman, he's one of the best.
When seeking permission say please
or he'll wipe out your next words with ease.
Some moderators are lazy,
Not Perm Dude, he's crazy,
Just watch out for his legalese.
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| 111 | xpdurmind
Donor
ID: 410492320
Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 23:03
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Here,I met a chap named Dave R. A champ above the rest by far He started slow ,but he took our blow And started gaining back his seat in the first row
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| 114 | xpdurmind
Donor
ID: 410492320
Sun, Feb 09, 2003, 23:54
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But the king of the hill is another fellow
He sits atop the fantasy world all cool and mellow
He dissect, he projects,assimilates and reports
An alternate universe of fantasy in sports
Guru as he’s called by his peers
Created this forum to ease our fears
Others call him Dave Hall
Still playing with the joy of a kid with his first ball
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| 115 | Dave R
Leader
ID: 12441623
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 00:31
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I'm sure you've heard of Bandwagon's curse
Last year it couldn't be worse
He's a fantasy stud
For sure he's no dud
He's a threat to win the top prize purse
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| 116 | wazaaap_guy
ID: 78101216
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 01:49
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As the gurupie WG he's known
but his name in the thread was not shown
"they've all got one but me
even youngbuck, oak, and tree
so why not just make up my own"
sorry its gay but its also 1 45 am and im tired.
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| 117 | CanEHdian Pride
Donor
ID: 48936413
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 07:38
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One day a man named Allhair told all us
'bout his team of players who best used their hair folicles
Quite some time has past
since he elected this cast
Hope he saved an extra slot for Ben Wallace
;)
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| 119 | Dave R
Leader
ID: 54449116
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 07:51
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There's a guy I call XP
No funnier name there could be
He's having a great season
It's one of the reasons
He leads my team GMD
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| 120 | PGunn
ID: 520212611
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 07:56
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119 posts to this thread
Really boggles my head
As, I've told my wife
GURUPIES have no life
And they are all sick in the head
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| 121 | DR Stars
ID: 0839516
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 08:07
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There's no love for me in here, and I can't even begin to write one for myself... so please, "anyone, anyone, Bueller?"
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| 122 | Dave R
Leader
ID: 47635299
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 10:19
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We've all heard of DR Stars
Who plays the game from a far
I can only surmize
Since he's ineligible for the prize
Competetion keeps his game above par
Hows that DR
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| 124 | blue hen
Leader
ID: 40029714
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 14:17
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PGunn rhymed "head" with "head" - that's a major no-no.
There once was a Gurupie named Twarp
About the Raptors and Lawhorn he'd harp
But he's out of luck
Cause now they both suck
And this rhyme is a real piece of carp.
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| 125 | slam
ID: 481261013
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 14:26
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there once was a gurupie named SmackDown
who gave his advice in this town
i listened to him
and my points became slim
now my WWR makes me frown
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| 126 | DR Stars
ID: 0839516
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 14:40
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Thanks Dave R, I'm printing it. ;)
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| 127 | R
ID: 241221016
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:22
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#125 slam: hahahahahahaha
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| 128 | Dave R
Leader
ID: 12441623
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:26
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There's a guy from north of the border
Who's teams are always in order
We know him as Twarpy
He sure is a sharpie
But I wouldn't want him to marry my daughter
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| 129 | RecycledSpinalFluid
ID: 42121814
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:33
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How do you do one about Twarpy and not include Modergate 2000?
(Side note...was it really that long ago?)
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| 130 | CanEHdian Pride
Donor
ID: 48936413
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:42
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Twarpy is the resident sleuth
who is always in search of the truth
struck down Moderator Lou
with only one clue
putting an end to an episode so uncouth
don't worry RSF...your limmerick is in the works. Its been a long time coming for such a great Gurupie.
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| 131 | RecycledSpinalFluid
ID: 42121814
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 17:54
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psst...It was Moderator Mike...
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| 133 | Dave R
Leader
ID: 12441623
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:01
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RSF is the spreadsheet wiz
Computers must be his biz
The standings we post
He's the author of most
I'm telling it like it is
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| 134 | PGunn
ID: 520212611
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:28
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We've had enough limericks from Dave R
He's posted the most by far
Most of them suck
and with a little luck
he'll stop cause his limericks are not up to par
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| 135 | KnicksFan
Donor
ID: 3974252
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:47
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PGunn displays little class
Making comments that are crass
He likes to make fun,
Of almost everyone,
He is an equal opportunity ass.
;)
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| 136 | PGunn
ID: 520212611
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 18:59
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LMAO KnicksFan.
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| 137 | PGunn
ID: 520212611
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 19:04
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The "Dell Dude" got busted for pot
just when his career was getting so hot
Now Dell will fire him
and he'll go to prison
and his cellmate will make his butt hurt alot
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| 138 | T
ID: 51151018
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 19:15
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#137 rhyming "him" and "prison" is pathetic but i considered the source and it made sense.
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| 139 | PGunn
ID: 520212611
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 19:17
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it's close enough man.
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| 140 | wiggs
Donor
ID: 10261612
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:00
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knicksfan i like 135. that is great
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| 141 | Dan's Principal
ID: 17103822
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:05
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Dan is a kid who likes to skip class
Next time he does, I may break out the teargas!
He is constantly oversleeping
But you won't find me weaping
Because if he fails, he's gotta kiss my ass.
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| 142 | APerfect10
Leader
ID: 70412023
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:14
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#141 is the best one yet! Dan, you misbehaving again?
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| 143 | KnicksFan
Donor
ID: 3974252
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:17
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Farn and Wiggs
Share the same digs
One day Farn baked a pie
And when he said "bye, bye"
Wiggs went at it like Jason Biggs.
Sorry guys, those names are tough to rhyme!!!!
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| 144 | wiggs
Donor
ID: 10261612
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:24
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Thanks alot knicksfan
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| 145 | KnicksFan
Donor
ID: 3974252
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:41
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That last limerick was just a joke (sorry if I offended)...here is a more serious one...
Gurupie Wiggs I will thank
For running more leagues than rfskank
Survivor and Head-to-Head
Would be more fun if I led
Is 5th a respectable rank?
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| 146 | wiggs
Donor
ID: 10261612
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 20:43
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thanks knicks. i like that better.
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| 147 | J
Leader
ID: 49346417
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 22:29
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KTx is the world's worst commissioner
But not bad for a foreigner
Now he's become a USC Trojan
So I know I'll beat him by a large margin
Our leagues are always quite the yawner.
Smallwhirled is my Seminole bud who stands tall
He made his mark finishing #2 in baseball
We usually chat about SW every morning
I'm usually the one who's yawning
Because his internet connection is his downfall
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| 149 | KTx
ID: 3129110
Mon, Feb 10, 2003, 22:38
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First of all, I'm not the worst commissioner... you are... you screw over the point system everytime you are the commish
Second, You haven't and never will beat me by any margin =P
Third, the league is a yawner for you because you are always too far behind =D
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| 151 | Athletics Guy
ID: 30139723
Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 04:16
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Re 149
Yes, ou are the worst commissioner ever!
Second, J beat you in baseball last season.
Third, you should give up because I'm never giving up this lead!
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| 152 | J
Leader
ID: 49346417
Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 12:49
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busted!
not a limerick, but a just got a funny email dealing with poetry:
The National Poetry contest had come down to 2 semi-finalists:
A Yale graduate and Newfoundlander.
They were given a single word, then allowed 2 minutes to come up with a poem that contained that word. The word given was: TIMBUKTU
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped up to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination: Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy ! No way could the Newfie top that, they thought. The Newfoundlander calmly made his way to the microphone and recited...
Me and Tim a huntin' we went,
Met three gals in a pop-up tent.
They was three and we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu.
The Newfie won hands down!
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| 153 | rage_22
Donor
ID: 4582621
Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 13:40
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That is hilarious stuff J.
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| 154 | KnicksFan
Donor
ID: 3974252
Tue, Feb 11, 2003, 15:16
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My Grandmother always tells me that joke LOL
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| 155 | KTx
ID: 3129110
Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 03:41
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He beat me last year?! damn...
was J the commish of that league? I remember once when J killed the scoring system by "tweaking" it
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| 156 | Athletics Guy
ID: 30139723
Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 04:53
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Yeah, he beat you by using a loophole in his scoring system. Remember how we all laughed at him for having points for each IP when there was already a maximum limit for IP? Well, he was just barely under the max IP limit, and then he filled up his roster with almost every available starting pitcher that was going on the last day of the season. Needless to say, he had a very big day. :)
After having said that, I still think J is the best commissioner ever!
"1.1 Alex Rodriguez" That's all I gotta say! :D
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| 157 | J
Leader
ID: 49346417
Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 13:42
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oh yeah, I forgot to tell KTx that he could do that ;)
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| 158 | KTx
ID: 3129110
Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 17:07
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Stupid loopholer!
I own u J!
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| 159 | Dan
Sustainer
ID: 0229323
Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 18:27
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Ummmm can I just say, you both suck!?
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| 160 | J
Leader
ID: 49346417
Wed, Feb 12, 2003, 19:32
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rotflmfao!!!!!!!!!!
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| 161 | cEHp @ school
ID: 411491311
Thu, Feb 13, 2003, 13:00
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A hot thread seems to have found a rut
and since I'm a limmerick posting nut
the interest once more i'll will gauge
with a bump to the top of the page
and if you don't like it you can kiss my BUTT
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| 162 | KnicksFan
Donor
ID: 439341814
Thu, Feb 13, 2003, 19:55
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This is the story of Shawn Kemp
A bigger stooge than Moe or Shemp
He threw away an All-Star career
For burgers, fries and lots of beer
As well as cocaine and smoking hemp.
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| 163 | KnicksFan
Donor
ID: 30815418
Fri, Apr 08, 2005, 19:35
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Bring it back...
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